Just Joined

[paular]

I'm Paula, 36 and from the West Midlands. I suffer from clinical depression, had a breakdown 2 years ago and still trying to recover. I've been off sick (again) since September and have just started new anti depressants, as well as started seeing a mental health specialist, who's referred me for CBT (9 months waiting list tho!).

I've finally given up trying to put my job first and I'm going to try to get well. If I lose my job because of it, I'll deal with that when I'm able. But I have to do this now, try and get well, put my health first. I'm off work long term and don't think I'll be paid any wages next month. Not sure how to deal with that yet.

I'm also a carer for my parents, who are both ill. My Dad has Altzheimers, stage 1, which breaks my heart, and my Mom is almsot completely housebound with physical problems. Dad has always looked after her, and the bills, and had all the responsibilities. That's my job now, and I know that makes my depression and stress worse. But social services are helping, which helps me too.

I don't know what else to say. About me in general? I love animals, especially cats. I enjoy reading, watching all sorts of films, football (Liverpool!), F1, walking in the countryside and going to the seaside (that's my "happy place"), eating out or just staying in and watching a film, having a takeaway and a glass of wine. When I'm well, I'm optimistic, friendly, kind. When I'm ill, I completely withdraw from society, as I imagine you all understand. I'm engaged to my Mark, and he's finding it very hard to deal with this. I'm not sure we'll make it, but I hope so because I do love him, and he's a good man.

I've said enough I think - this is turning into a novel. Lol. So that's me.

[Emotional_77]

welcome paular