This is a first for me

[KitKat]

... I mean, joining any kind of forum for depression. I grew up in a part of Asia where there are still archaic thoughts that depression is something you "get over" and that it does not require any professional help... that not being able to get over depression on your own is a sign of weakness and failure.

I think the first time I had thoughts of suicide was when I was 7. Then at 13, then every so often since. I never got help though. I once sat on a ledge of our apartment building when I was a teenager but apparently that wasn't enough for me to get help. My mother promised to get help for me to get me back into the apartment, but I never saw anyone for my depression.

At 21, I attended a university in the U.S. for a year. That was the first time I ever saw anyone for counseling. I went once. I don't know if it helped.

I'm middle-aged now, I suppose, and the depression hit badly during my marriage. Thoughts of suicide has been frequent, and the only thing that's stopping me is the thought of my kids. But that's it. Otherwise, I don't find much joy in life. I can't afford therapy either. Just didn't know what to do so I came here.

[dd-va]

KitKat, I am so glad that you reached out and came here. Welcome! Depression is not understood completely by many who have not suffered from it themselves. The common misconception is that it is something we can just "get over " and be happy. Those of us that struggle with depression realize that is not possible. I hope that you able to find support here, we are listening! Take Care!