Hello

[Kalari]

Hi I am not new to using the internet to seek like minded souls suffering from depression. I used to use Yahoo chat and made a few friends in the past. That was years ago unfortunately and those rooms are gone now. I guess I am just seeking a place that understands what I feel at times. The crushing feeling of hopelessness at times. The feeling of a rush of energy one minute then not wanting to even deal with anything the next. Its been a rough few months to I know that has not helped things either.

I guess I will start a little about myself, I am a single mother of a wonderful little six year old boy who keeps me going. About a year before I had him though I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and depression issues. This led to troubles with my marriage and resulted in that ending. I was taken back in by my grandmother who had also taken in my mother to help me raise my son and all went well for awhile. Went back to school became certified in medical coding thought things would look up. Even was going to counseling for my illness and taking treatments. Then about three years ago my grandmother began showing the affects of Alzheimer's disease. My mother who really is not the most responsible person decided that we would provide in home care for her. Which after all she had done for me there was no way I would not do this for my grandmother. It was rough she passed January of last year. After that things became a real roller coaster, trying to balance life for my son and my mother became top priority. I managed to get us moved into a more affordable area trying hard to keep everything paid up and together putting my health needs on the back burner. Even after all that we ran into personal loss losing my youngest sister and an aunt. Threw the funerals I thought maybe this is it snap city but kept it together. I figured as long as I keep the house running that it would be all I needed to keep myself from letting it all get to me. I was wrong very wrong. Lately not even my son who is the light of my life can keep my moods from hitting such low points it scares me. And my mother who really has become a burden on me does not understand that I cannot handle the pressure she places on my shoulders on a daily basis and still function.

So I know I need to at least try to seek out professional help again at least once it is affordable to. But thought id seek out a place where I can come to and talk (well type) it out with others till that happens. Thanks for reading this.

[Obayan]

Hi Kalari! You found a great place here with a lot of people who really do care. We also have a chat room here if you would like to talk.

[Kalari]

thanks trying it tonight just reading so far though not sure about jumping into chatting just yet been awhile for me.

[Obayan]

Take your time, get comfortable and just jump on in whenever you are ready.