New to this board. Having a meltdown

[Sirshadowd]

Hello all. I'm new to this board and I am reaching out because today it seems my depression has peaked and I'm really feeling like doing something stupid. I won't but the feelings are hitting me like never before right now. I'm in the process of a separation ( soon to be divorced) in part due to my depression. I have isolated myself from family and friends and have no one. I'm currently staying with my mother (about 30 days now), and I'm unemployed. The past two days I have been an asshole to my mother and my wife and I am feeling extremely guilty about it right now too. I have absolutely no one. I can't believe that this is how I start my new year. I have been crying for a few hours now. I have my daughter (19 months old) with me right now for the weekend and we are alone. I have no one to talk to. I have been reading a book ( feeling good) and thought things were looking up. And now I'm here feeling worse than I ever have. I'm not sure what I'm looking for coming to this site. Please somebody help me.

[Obayan]

Hi. I know how you feel. I find myself dependant on my daughter right now. It's not easy to turn a part of your life over into someone else's hands. I know how things can get out of control and you want to bad just to do something really really stupid. But we can't do that. We have to keep fighting. This is one battle worth winning.

Have you sat down and talked to your mother and wife about what is going on and how it's making you feel? I know it's hard and if you need to you can write it all out first to get it all sorted and make it easier to talk about. But maybe if you talk to them, you might find two very supportive people to help you.

Talking to a counselor can help as well. We also have a chat room here you can talk to several people who really do genuinely care.