Hello - Looking For Others Like Myself

[minstrelboy]

I was diagnosed with depression while serving in the US Army around 2001. I've suspected this for some time, but this was when I first attempted to seek treatment for it. Actually, aside from some sporadic moments of utter hopelessness and destitution, I had always felt more comfortable in my depression. My initial complaint was feeling a lack of energy, and that was the catalyst to make me seek help. Over the following years I was on and off a variety of drugs, and every one of them assailed me with the multitude of side-effects common to them, including feeling more tired than I'd previously felt. After talking with a mental health professional at the VA, I decided to start turning around my attitude about things. I tried to maintain a positive focus on life, or brush off the things I had no control over instead of taking it personally.

This was hard to do. During this period, I've become more and more disenchanted with everyone. People in general are just a total disappointment. When you look at the terrible things that happen around the world, it sickens me - the death, brutality, corruption, greed, arrogance and self-involvement of others is literally nauseating to me. I know that there is good in the world too, but it's usually not interesting enough to make the news. Our modern world is truly a society of spectacle.

I hardly ever drink, and when I do it's in moderation. I don't smoke - quit over 6 years ago. I don't watch sports. I don't have cable in my home, nor do I have the internet in my home. I like to read and write. I like music, though I have a hard time liking new music these days. I've become more and more interested in self-sustainable living, or living off the grid. I've been getting rid of my excessive material possessions that have accumulated over the years.

I am married and have 5 cats. I was previously married and have a twelve year old daughter who I keep as good a relationship with as possible - she's currently in Germany with her mom. I recently returned from Iraq in September where I was working as a civilian contractor. I was originally in the Army for 6 years as a diesel mechanic, and continued doing that work after I got out. I went to Iraq in '04-05, came back and went to school for computer drafting, using AutoCAD. Spent two years doing that before deciding to go back overseas, mostly because of the financial situation my wife and I were in. I'm back now, and seeking employment, but not having much luck.

Anyway, I was hoping to find some people to talk to that feel that their depression stems from the complications of the modern world. I've disconnected myself from a lot of these things, as much as I possibly can in my current situation, and I've managed to turn around a lot of the despondency I succumbed to regularly throughout my life. I would love to find a self-sustainable commune to live in, but my wife and I still have a lot of debt we need to pay off. We're kind of stranded in Southwestern PA for the moment (unless some job opportunity affords us the chance to move), and I would love to meet with others that feel the same way I do to discuss the world at large.

I am neither democrat or republican (I think this two-party system has made a joke of democracy), but most of my opinions tend to lean more towards what could be described as 'liberal'. I do not believe in one governing religious body that can be 'right' - I have religious beliefs, but I feel that it's better when others keep those opinions to their selves and practice the acceptance that most religions preach, instead of being self-righteous and judgmental, which I find most zealots to be.

I look forward to any comments or PMs. Thanks for reading.

[xken728]

Hi minstrelboy , ive read your post and even though were two differant people ,you think the same as i do about a lot of things ,
the way the world is for instance ,i feel the same about that to ,or a little simalar anyway ,im 53 and im an engineer ,ive suffered from deppression since i was seven ,but you know ,im married have two great girls 24 and 30 years ,and ive been with my wife for around 33 years ,we two have had tough times ,but we always come through ,you say youve tryed to turn things around ,not easy is it ,depression is a very cunning creature so you just keep fighting,its not an option to give up ,times can and will be hard .i lost my job through illness and have only been able to work part time for the last five years .
Walk forward and now and then look back ! and see how far you have come .just wanted you to know your not alone ,,,,,, Im not around here much anymore but im sure you will make many new freinds best wishes
xn728 ......Ken . uk

[Obayan]

Hi. My depression has a completely different source than societies views and/or actions but i do sympathise with your plight. I hope you find relief and find a way to deal with what's going on in a healthy and happy way.