Hi Everyone --- I'm a 41 year old happily married husband and father of two wonderful sons who are ages 8 and 5. I've battled depression off-and-on since my early teenage years and unfortunately am battling it again. I found this website and am so happy about that --- I just need a place to vent because keeping it bottled-up is starting to take a toll. I don't want people feeling sorry for me, but wanted to try to maybe be helpful to anyone who is also hurting. I think being able to relate to others who share the same experiences helps everyone all around. I do receive counseling every 3-4 months and will be seeing him again soon. Right now I'm just trying to weather the storm.
I did this backwards --- yesterday, I posted a memoir called "My Battle Against Depression" in the 'Your Story' section and should have done this introduction first. Whoops! Anyway, I just wanted to say hello, and hope and pray you feel better very soon.
Sincerely,
Eric
Hello, my name is Eric and I battle depression
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Hello, my name is Eric and I battle depression
Last edited by Eric0620 on Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Eric, welcome to the forum. This is a good place for support as well as the room. Don't worryabout having done it backwards. Not set in stone it has to be done in order. Just glad you went ahead and introduced yourself to us. Talking and helping others is a good way to help yourself too.
I know you said you don't want people to feel sorry for you. And that's understandable. The people are very understanding here. They may express that they are sorry that you are going through this rough time, but that comes from understanding not pity.
Can you try to get into the counseling any sooner? Are you on any meds? Hold on to the fact that while you have had this off and on, theres been times where you havent. And if thats happened before and you've got through it you canget through this too. You'll be able to weather this.
Once again nice to meet you. And hope this makes sense.
holly
I know you said you don't want people to feel sorry for you. And that's understandable. The people are very understanding here. They may express that they are sorry that you are going through this rough time, but that comes from understanding not pity.
Can you try to get into the counseling any sooner? Are you on any meds? Hold on to the fact that while you have had this off and on, theres been times where you havent. And if thats happened before and you've got through it you canget through this too. You'll be able to weather this.
Once again nice to meet you. And hope this makes sense.
holly
Hi Holly,
Thank you for your kind words and welcome! Yes, you are right about the distinction between pity and understanding, and that it really wouldn't be pity. I have been "stable" until just recently (early this year is when the "clouds started thickening"), so seeing the counselor/psychiatrist every 3-4 months was feasible, and as it happens I will see him this Friday the 7th and will have a lot to talk to him about.
I am not in danger of trying to harm myself, and yes I take Amitriptyline 75 mg (a Tricyclic generic of Elavil) each night. It's actually a low dose, and I have been fine with it like that, but the problem is that it gives me such a dry mouth --- I'm not against increasing it, but would have to figure something out about how to deal with the dry mouth, short of switching meds since I'd really rather not do that.
There are several things I suspect are causing this storm to brew, and a lot of it is work-related stressors. I'm working with my PCP in getting my blood pressure under control because it averages around 240/150 - no joke, and I obviously know that is unacceptable. I'm on 4 meds for that, all of which are very potent.
Anyway, thank you for letting me get some of this off my chest here. I'm just tired of being unhappy, but I know I can get through it as I have many times before. I don't know if you are one who has (or did have) any of this kind of unhappiness going on in your life, and I'm not asking you to express anything personal, but I hope and pray not you are not. Thank you again, Holly!
Sincerely,
Eric
Thank you for your kind words and welcome! Yes, you are right about the distinction between pity and understanding, and that it really wouldn't be pity. I have been "stable" until just recently (early this year is when the "clouds started thickening"), so seeing the counselor/psychiatrist every 3-4 months was feasible, and as it happens I will see him this Friday the 7th and will have a lot to talk to him about.
I am not in danger of trying to harm myself, and yes I take Amitriptyline 75 mg (a Tricyclic generic of Elavil) each night. It's actually a low dose, and I have been fine with it like that, but the problem is that it gives me such a dry mouth --- I'm not against increasing it, but would have to figure something out about how to deal with the dry mouth, short of switching meds since I'd really rather not do that.
There are several things I suspect are causing this storm to brew, and a lot of it is work-related stressors. I'm working with my PCP in getting my blood pressure under control because it averages around 240/150 - no joke, and I obviously know that is unacceptable. I'm on 4 meds for that, all of which are very potent.
Anyway, thank you for letting me get some of this off my chest here. I'm just tired of being unhappy, but I know I can get through it as I have many times before. I don't know if you are one who has (or did have) any of this kind of unhappiness going on in your life, and I'm not asking you to express anything personal, but I hope and pray not you are not. Thank you again, Holly!
Sincerely,
Eric
Last edited by Eric0620 on Tue Oct 25, 2011 5:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
Hi again Eric. I'm glad you will be seeing the counselor/psychiatrist again. Maybe until it lessons again, you two might think its a good idea to see him a little closer together until this passes.
I've had dry mouth with some of my meds. And haven't changed the meds in the past because they helped me become stable and just dealt with the dry mouth. Maybe your doctor will have tips or suggestions on what might help you with this.
Sorry to hear you are struggling with your blood pressure. Stress doesn't help that, and n turn both can make your depression worse. I know you said you are on med for it, does the doctor have any suggestions on what else you might do to get it under control?
Yes I struggle too. You might catch a bit of it here and there on the boards. It really is a very supportive place. And I appreciate the thoughts. I know I can get through it too. Take care.
holly
I've had dry mouth with some of my meds. And haven't changed the meds in the past because they helped me become stable and just dealt with the dry mouth. Maybe your doctor will have tips or suggestions on what might help you with this.
Sorry to hear you are struggling with your blood pressure. Stress doesn't help that, and n turn both can make your depression worse. I know you said you are on med for it, does the doctor have any suggestions on what else you might do to get it under control?
Yes I struggle too. You might catch a bit of it here and there on the boards. It really is a very supportive place. And I appreciate the thoughts. I know I can get through it too. Take care.
holly
Hi Holly,
I think for now, at least, I'll be ok keeping the appointments at 3-4 months, but I wouldn't hesitate making one sooner in between if it got bad enough. My psychiatrist is the best --- gave all his contact information and can call 24/7 if needed, but I've never done that and I couldn't call at odd times. He's very dedicated.
My PCP wants me to lose a little bit of weight, but I'm not really that overweight --- I'm 6'1" and weigh 225, so I don't think weight is really much of a contributing factor to high BP in my case. I'll confess that my diet isn't exactly always the greatest, but I think the underlying cause is mainly hereditary. He said 99% of the time they never figure-out why BP is high, even after all the tests for various things.
Yes, I'm finding, too, this is a great and very supportive site and glad Google led me to it and everyone here!
Please take care, and thank you for all your support!
Sincerely,
Eric
I think for now, at least, I'll be ok keeping the appointments at 3-4 months, but I wouldn't hesitate making one sooner in between if it got bad enough. My psychiatrist is the best --- gave all his contact information and can call 24/7 if needed, but I've never done that and I couldn't call at odd times. He's very dedicated.
My PCP wants me to lose a little bit of weight, but I'm not really that overweight --- I'm 6'1" and weigh 225, so I don't think weight is really much of a contributing factor to high BP in my case. I'll confess that my diet isn't exactly always the greatest, but I think the underlying cause is mainly hereditary. He said 99% of the time they never figure-out why BP is high, even after all the tests for various things.
Yes, I'm finding, too, this is a great and very supportive site and glad Google led me to it and everyone here!
Please take care, and thank you for all your support!
Sincerely,
Eric
Doctor's Plan
Saw my doctor and told him about how I've been slipping into a moderate depression since I last saw him. Very good session --- after me telling him all that is going on he is increasing my dosage of Amitriptyline from 75 mg a night to 100 mg. I have issues with dry mouth already at 75 mg, so maybe I'll keep a gallon of water by the bed instead of 32 oz bottles. He wants to see me again in 6 weeks, instead of seeing him in the usual 3 to 4 months, to see where I'm at after being on the higher dosage. If no impact is made, he said we may have to go back to drawing board. Hope that doesn't happen because I've taken Amitriptyline since 1988 and don't want to change something I've had success with, but if it's not working anymore... I know Prozac is out since it made me unable to sleep soundly. Zoloft gave me morning sickness --- guess I had a small "taste" of what being pregnant is like.
Thanks Holly, and everyone else! The support here is great and hope I am helpful.
- Eric
Thanks Holly, and everyone else! The support here is great and hope I am helpful.
- Eric
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