New and don't know what to expect

[kawona]

I felt that something was changing within myself for several years now but didn't know what it was. I took the approach that it was part of life's experiences. Well last week I finally accepted the fact that what I have been dealing with was not just hard knocks from life. I started crying every morning, I don't like going outside like I use to, and I'm not happy.

I know that I am breaking down from all the things that I've been going through and tried to stay strong like it didn't bother me. I need to get past it all. I was molested by my uncle when I was younger and buried it deep down inside because it was nothing that you could talk about with your family. I'm from that era. Besides that was my mother's "favorite" brother. Even when it came out after my aunt had a nervous breakdown over being molested by her own brother (the same uncle), it still was not discussed. Since this time I have been fighting my feelings over it.

Then to add onto that I was laid off almost three years ago and unable to find a job. I have had some interviews but nothing. All of this is snowballing down and it such a heavy burden on me. Through it all I try to keep busy doing things so I don't go into a severe depression. I can't afford any treatments because I have no money. I have to live depending on others which is something I've never had to do before. It's heartbreaking. I just want to find some help and someone to talk to.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi kawona,

First welcome, the forums are a good place to start, people are caring. Also we do have a depression understood chat room, consider going there to talk with people. Many members there and the room is active. Lots of wonderful chatters there.

I have gone down the same road, and no it isn't easy. Also, have you checked with the hospital to see if they have medical assistance programs? My small town does and it was a life saver for me. Just a suggestion.

Warmsoul