the emilyspemily story!

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emilyspemily
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 25, 2011 8:39 pm

the emilyspemily story!

Postby emilyspemily » Fri May 27, 2011 1:34 pm

Hello! My name is Emily. I've been around the chat rooms before, but not lately because I don't have Internet at my apartment right now.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for about 10 years. My abusive mom died when I was 15, and after that I kind of shut down. I'm now 24 years old, and spent the winter/spring in and out of the mental hospital. That was a new experience for me, and very scary. I'm still not sure if it helped or hurt. They put me on a lot of meds that ended up having bad side effects. I tried to kill myself and landed back in the hospital.

My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago, and it broke my heart. I wish I had better words to explain the pain that I feel. He was so special to me and I opened up to him in ways I've never opened up to anyone before. And he left me, as soon as I got out of the hospital the second time. It hurts everyday. I seem to have lost a bunch of friends in the process.

I work full time at a job I absolutely despise. I'm here right now, just staring at the clock counting down the hours until I can leave (7 and a half to go). Of course I have nothing to do when I get home, but at least I won't be here.

This last time I was in the hospital I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I'm on a cocktail of meds now that seem to at least be keeping the mania away. I'm starting a DBT group therapy soon. Does anyone else have experience with this?

Anyway. Just thought I'd reach out. Hope you are all doing well. :)

jj
Posts: 411
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:24 am
Location: UK
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Postby jj » Fri May 27, 2011 3:00 pm

((((emily))))

sorry you had trouble with the bad side effects of the meds, and that you had a bad experience at the hospital-that it was scary. thats good that youve got meds now that are calming the mania down. did you get any bad side effects off them? i dont know what DBT therapy is.. but well, therapy is usually a good step, well i find that its working well for me anyway.

sorry that it didnt work out with you and your boyfriend, that must have been heartbreaking, but sometimes you need to work on you before you can enter a stable relationship. it sucks he left you just after you got out of hospital though because im sure you must have felt thats when you needed him most.

hope you can stay strong thru this tough period. just give your heart time to heal. cause it will heal, with time, and itll get better. focus on you for now tho, and your recovery, and your story. its your time to get better now and grow.

you have us all supporting you thru this hard time so stay strong! and we will be strong for you when you cant be.

jj

hollyann
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Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:44 pm
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Postby hollyann » Mon May 30, 2011 3:32 am

(((((((emily)))) glad to hear from you here. I'm sorry about the break up. I hope you can get back to the room again soon. Can you search for a different job that you might like better on a day off or after work? Sometimes it helps to have a job that you like. Wishing you the best.

hollyann


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