hi i'm new

[sndrsemily]

I am 24 from MN. I have had depression for 9 years. Most of my story is too long to tell for an introduction. I am an adopted korean american. About four years ago I was told I was born a twin. (No additional information was known-name, alive or not etc). About 6 months later, my twin contacted me and I met her. My birthmother had kept her and given me up, so we couldn't talk w/o a translator. Suffice it to say, aside from those difficulties, I have been 7 months sober from drinking and 1 and a half years sober from drugs. I am having a hard time because where I am now isn't what I got sober for. I live alone with my cats and don't know anyone since I ditched my drinking/user friends. I haven't been able to find a job, I don't have a car. I am worried I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone and lonely. I have had six suicide attempts and am determined not to have another. But I am hoping that being alone every day and being depressed isn't all there is, cause if that's the case, I might as well go back to drinking. I don't know what to do.

[hollyann]

Hi and welcome to the forum. You should be proud of yourself for being drug free and sober for so long. Drinking is a depressant and makes you feel worse in the long run. Now that you and your twin have met, maybe you both can take some courses to know how to communicate better. There is nothing that says you will be alone for the rest of your life. Sometimes you find someone when you least expect it. And relationships unfortunately while they can help can cause additional stress and not a cure all. You'll find out that a lot of what you are experiencing you aren't alone in the feelings here.

Holly

[crystalgaze]

I'm sure there is more out there for you! It may just take some time to get there. Don't give up hope yet!

Hello & welcome!