Hi Ya.

[John Duffy's Brother]

It is late, or early, but for me I always feel like it is late... At my back I always hear... I have screwed up to much, left to many options un-attended, to much learning un-learned. I have been 6 years with the Dr.'s and the medications and I still am unsure of my diagnosis. I am sad. I am lost. I am anxious. But I have a sense of humor. javascript:emoticon(':roll:')javascript:emoticon(':oops:')http://depression-understood.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif
I think I have always been depressed and anxious...if by D&A you mean picked on and underachieved at school...afraid of your mother raising her risen voice, then yes indeed.
I had a specific fit as a Junior in college which cleared up like shingles, I suppose. These last 9 months have been an epiphany of loss that has left me rootless and adrift.
Dismissed of friends and co-workers, of a father and a job. Dismissed of functions and a structures and a sense of completion, and further friends (although finding too that I still have quiet a few). I feel the potential loss, the unmitigated failure of everything I care about. How can I fail to sound maudlin?
Dismissed by a Dr. Monday because we disagreed about what constituted treating my symptoms. I am waiting to return to my old and trusted team, but worry that I might not get the direct action and course correction I need. "water water everywhere by not a drop to drink"

Tonight I finished the Moviegoer by Walker Percy...about depression at its core, the question is not how the relationship became to be, but rather if the center if the ending could hold true. Binks gives up the search, settles down, agrees to be the fixed foot, which I guess if my metaphor is going to hold is both vertical and horizontal (albeit limited) in its search. Did he decide the vertical search had problems similar to the horizontal? And what will happen to him when Kate, thick with child, he awakes with his 3rd Idea of a search?

I said I have always been depressed, as my mother was also. Now I feel like I have Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety, Social Phobia, and Panic Attacks. Looking over my plans for morning, the piece of paper howls up at me, "shut-in."

My wife thinks I am in a lake paddling towards a shore. I am not so sure I'm lake and not named Bob , or Bloat.

But I do feel like time is running out, I have to define myself successfully and correctly soon. Being lost is only so much fun for so long before the crowds of children and onlookers begin to tire of you. I am sleepy now but I do not feel like sleeping.

[Obayan]

Hello. First, let me say this.... it's never to late. It's never to late to fix the things you think you messed up. It's never to late to learn the things you forgot. It's never to late to do something to better your life. Time isn't running out, your patience is; your understanding is. You made a huge step in coming here and seeking help. For that I applaud you. You know there is a problem. Now you need to resolve it. Please understand that it took you a long time to get to the point you are at right now. It's going to take a long time to come back from it too. Only a doctor can accurately diagnose you because the symptoms overlap in mental disorders so widely. So that's your first step. Second is to work it out with the doc what kind of a program is going to work best to fit your specific needs and the needs of those that depend on you. I wish you the best in the journey you are about to begin. Remember, it's not always about the end result. Sometimes the healing comes from the journey itself.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((( John Duffy's Brother ))))))))))))))))))))))

Hello, I am known as Warmie here to many. Just wanted to give you a welcome, this forum is a good one, no judgment on anyone, from anyone. Support, kindness, care is the goal of so many.

Perhaps you have come further than you realize, seeing things, knowing the needs, what depression can do to ones life. It isn't an easy journey, but here you will have people supporting as much as possible.

A good feeling, to know others do understand and are will to walk that mile beside you.

Hope to see you posting more, take care...

Warmie