Am i on my own ???

[little me]

Hello

Thought i would just say hello to you all and see how everyone is getting on??????? how are you ?

This is the end of the first week my children have been off school for the Easter holiday, been very hard been trying to go out with them which has been a good step for me to be able to go out!!

But now i feel like i do not have a choice but stay in as my son has just come out with chicken pox today, and is not feeling well with it!
Feel very tired bad head and very low .

with love little me x

[xn728]

Hello little me ,,well ive been busy ,,and i feel ok ,,,you have done well to go out and be with the kids ,,i know what its like in the hols ,,when mine were young ,i had to play allsorts ,,even though i felt awful ,,they had a
great time my two girls ,,23 ,,and 30,,years now ,,they will give you all that love and care back when you need it ,,,well done my dear freind ,,,dont be to low now ,,its ok ,,were all with you ,,dont feel alone ,,try to have a little rest when there all in bed tonight ,,a little you time ,,hey ,,go ,,on
hugs again well done (((((little me ))))),,lots of love ken xxx

[little me]

Hello Ken

I'm so pleased you are doing ok, hope it's been a good busy time for you!!!
Bless you thank you, your so very kind and sweet with what you always say to me, you always put a smile on my face

They are good boys, just need alot to keep them busy and happy and always just want and need me more , wish they would want to spend more time with dad too but strange they both are very much of mummys boys, which makes it hard on me all the time. I know they are not small for long and i should make the most of them, but hard when your not having such a good time .

Lots of love and big hug to you Ken, love little me xxxx

[xn728]

hey its ok (((((little me ))))),,i know just what its like for you ,,,i brought my two girls up ,,and had to hide the torment that was eating me inside ,
You will do a great job even through the pain ,and they will love you for the wonderful mother you are ,sometimes when we get to the end of our day ,and we can maybe just find that little bit of rest time for ourselves ,
And we know weve got to get up the next day ,and do it all again ,,but you know ,look back and see how far you have come ,,Now do you see how strong you have been, So Walk on (((((little me))))),,,,and well all be right behind you !!! Reach out ,,lots of love ken xxx

[little me]

Hello Ken,

You have really touched my heart and made me cry, thank you for all your help you have been a true star

Yes i do think that when they are fast asleep that in the morning i have to do it all over again,,,,,,,,,,but the best thing i like is to see them smile back at me, and then i see that i must be doing something right.

With love Little mexxx Night night Ken big kiss and hugx

[xn728]

hey (((little me))),,if i touched your heart ,then im happy to ,,i feared at one point i had lost my kind words ,,but it appears not ,,so were both happy ,,and im sure when those boys smile at you ,it must make you feel so good ,,because you are doing everything right ,,even in the pain we carry we always make sure our loved ones dont see the darkness that surrounds us ,,the depression makes you blind you see ,,you are doing all a mother should do ,it just looks a little clouded to you thats all ,,dont be
fooled by the darkness it wants you to think your failing ,the very thing that trys to bring us down ,gives us gifts and we use them to carry on ,,
two of these gifts are kindness and compassion ,use them well ,little me and you will do just fine ,if you carry on, as hard as it can be ,,you will hurt the darkness ,because it will feel your strentgh ,and fear your strong will ,,you can never be alone now ,we are all here for you ,,if you feel alone and call out in the darkness i will call back so you know you are not alone .i hope today has been ok for you ,soon be time for a little quiet time for you i hope ,,hugs my dear freind (((((little me))))),,,lots of love
ken xxx

[little me]

Hello Ken,

sorry i have not been on here for a few days and only just got back to you, but it has been a very hard time for me . My son has chicken pox bad and has a cold on top of it,,,,,,,,,he has not been sleeping well at night so i have not had any rest time for myself, and with it being half term it makes it harder as i have to keep both of my boys happy.

Hope you are ok ? i think your wonderful and you seem to know so much about alot of things

Take care with love Little me xxx

[xn728]

ohhhh your so kind ,,but im not wonderful ,,i just know the pain you ,we all suffer ,,and the gifts i talk of sometimes ,maybe im just gifted with a good way of putting things ,,im just glad your feeling part of everything here ,,and if im giving you some hope and making you feel better, then thats made me feel good to ,,sometimes you know when i feel really down its hard to find those words of support i send to my freinds ,and that can cause me extra pain to ,,but im good now ,,fingers crossed ,,its good to see you around ,,the hols are nearly over ,,and as much as we love our kids ,,when there back at school its a little less pressure isnt it ,,,,
ok little me ,,back to the decorating for me ,,,thanks so much for your kind words ,,,ill see you later hugs (((((little me ))))),,love ken xxx

[little me]

Ohhhhhhhh Ken,

I just wanted to say that it was so very sweet what you wrote on the bottom of my last message to me about your wife Fran,,,,,,bless you,,,,and Bless Fran

Yes not long now and my boys should be back to school next week, fingers crossed that my little one will be better. I do love them very much and i'm doing my best to hide the pain i'm in, i would hate for them to grow up and think back that ,,,,,,,,,,oh my mummy was always crying and sad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,so i am trying extra hard as i would love them to look back on there childhood to be a happy one for them .

Take care, big hug to you and Franx

love little me x

[xn728]

heyyyyyyyy little me ,,your doing just great its horrible when the kids are ill ,,all that extra worry ,be back up and about soon though ,my eldest daughter ,,was always breaking something when she was young fell off her bike and broke her collar bone ,,mind you shes 29 now and she broke her knee cap last year ,,your a super mother and you can do know wrong ,,we are blessed in a way with this terrible illness we carry with us ,,it give us feelings of understanding and compassion for others in this life who suffer simaler fates ,,,you know i dont think i would give my depression up for anything,,its gives me the kind words i write ,,and my ability to touch others with my words ,,,if i were to get better i may lose all those lovely things ,,,,oh and my message about fran its my new parting message ,,i change it now and then depending how im feeling ,,you set it in profiles and it shows up everytime you i post ,,,,,,
glad you like it ,,,,bye for now ,,you walk forward my dear freind ,,dont let the darkness hold you back ,,reach out ,,,,,hugs (((((little me )))))
love ken ,,,catch you later maybe xxx

[starrynight]

I didn't realize that fear is linked to depression. I have also felt some of the things you described in your post. =/ hugs and much love.