Ghost in my own body

[LostINThought]

I feel like I am a ghost in my own body. Someday's, I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out who I am, what I like, and what I want to be. I can't get happy or stay happy even when life is good. I don't look forward to anything anymore because it's exhausting to pretend that I'm OK!!! I am unsure of every decision I make as I'm scared I will make the wrong choice and disappoint everyone. I want to stop feeling this way, but don't know how to. When I feel the most along, I try my hardest to push everyone away. I pick fights, ignore people, or become reserved in my actions and thought. Sometimes this goes on for weeks, and no one says anything to me; they just let it happen. I get you're overreacting, you're stressed, or this is stemming for something else that happened you will be OK tomorrow, and you're too sensitive. I don't believe that anymore. I want to scream at them that I'm not OK and continuously feel like I am nothing. Sometimes I stand at the door, cry, and think I don't want to do this anymore. I know logically that I have family and friends that love me to pieces, but it's just so hard to shake the irrational thoughts I sometimes have.

Today on my walk with my dog, I kept replaying all the terrible events that I have gone through. I'm starting to wonder if I am feeling this way because I have no more room for it. My body is just like a teapot, and the steam is starting to seep out.

I don't sleep, and when I do, I can't get enough of it. My husband thinks I'm lazy, and I laugh it off like that. However, the truth is that I can't get enough sleep because I am so exhausted, pretending to be OK with myself. Sometimes, I need to stair off, in silence, do nothing and let my body and mind recharge and reset so I can go one with a smile and act like nothings wrong with me.

I feel like I am a terrible wife, friends, daughter, sister, godchild! No one knows the real me, not even myself. I have this overwhelming feeling that I want to make others happy and go above and beyond. But I don't know how to make myself happy. I don't know what I like, want, or need anymore. I am a ghost in my own body, just going through the motions, pretending to be happy.

[sdachristian]

Hi there,

I can sympathies with you on every level. Why? Well mainly because I have been through the exact same thing as you. I don't know you personally, you may not be religious as I am. However, I thought it would be the right thing to give you my experience. I have had death threats toward myself many times, from self-harm to late nights thinking about why I did that stupid thing? What is wrong with me? It is very hard to break out of that habit. Even now I have flashbacks to my past life and embarrassing situations, and they can be extremely hard to shake away. As a Christian I find comfort in knowing that God is there. How? Well because I have experienced Him personally. If you really feel that you have no-one to talk to. Talk to God. You may not believe He exists, but just try Him. Trust me, He will hear you. You just have to try God for once and really mean it, really tell Him all about your issues, He will hear you (Jeremiah 29:12; Jeremiah 33:3) I wouldn't be telling you this if it weren't true. You may ask how do I know He hears me? He regularly sends me friends who I can talk to, recently someone I had been distant from due to this pandemic, got my number out of nowhere! When you pray, which I hope you do, don't be embarrassed. Just trust God will hear and answer you. Place all your doubts aside and just pray. PLEASE. Mark 11:24 states "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." God helped me overcome that feeling a He will help you! (Hebrews 4:16)

You are cared for (Isaiah 43:4)

Have a great day!

[Prycejosh1987]

I feel like I am a ghost in my own body. Someday's, I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out who I am, what I like, and what I want to be. I can't get happy or stay happy even when life is good. I don't look forward to anything anymore because it's exhausting to pretend that I'm OK!!! I am unsure of every decision I make as I'm scared I will make the wrong choice and disappoint everyone. I want to stop feeling this way, but don't know how to. When I feel the most along, I try my hardest to push everyone away. I pick fights, ignore people, or become reserved in my actions and thought. Sometimes this goes on for weeks, and no one says anything to me; they just let it happen. I get you're overreacting, you're stressed, or this is stemming for something else that happened you will be OK tomorrow, and you're too sensitive. I don't believe that anymore. I want to scream at them that I'm not OK and continuously feel like I am nothing. Sometimes I stand at the door, cry, and think I don't want to do this anymore. I know logically that I have family and friends that love me to pieces, but it's just so hard to shake the irrational thoughts I sometimes have.

Today on my walk with my dog, I kept replaying all the terrible events that I have gone through. I'm starting to wonder if I am feeling this way because I have no more room for it. My body is just like a teapot, and the steam is starting to seep out.

I don't sleep, and when I do, I can't get enough of it. My husband thinks I'm lazy, and I laugh it off like that. However, the truth is that I can't get enough sleep because I am so exhausted, pretending to be OK with myself. Sometimes, I need to stair off, in silence, do nothing and let my body and mind recharge and reset so I can go one with a smile and act like nothings wrong with me.

I feel like I am a terrible wife, friends, daughter, sister, godchild! No one knows the real me, not even myself. I have this overwhelming feeling that I want to make others happy and go above and beyond. But I don't know how to make myself happy. I don't know what I like, want, or need anymore. I am a ghost in my own body, just going through the motions, pretending to be happy.

Theres alot of negative thoughts that impede you from enjoying life. Think highly of yourself. You are a human, as am i, and everyone who posts on this and every other website. Insecurities can be overcome by Releasing confidence and self belief, and self worth. Because your worth it. You need to overcome these issues and change your mindset. Think about good times and how you can change what your feeling. We cannot change the past, but we can have a great impact on the future in what we decide to do now. Remember that. You have a husband and i am sure he loves you and cares about you. Discuss your issues with your partner, and it will help you on the road to success and bring you and your partner closer together. All the best.