Newbie and Dealing with a Break-Up

[nataly87]

My now Ex-Boyfriend and I, broke up 2 weeks ago, and its been really hard for me to get through. I've had trouble sleeping, eating, and going out to like the store etc. I did finally go out and shopped around with my family, this past week, but it was difficult, but I am also proud of myself of doing it too. Anyway, I do think of my Ex-Boyfriend from time to time, because him and I were together for 1 year, and we both did care for each other a lot, loving each other too. So the break up was difficult on both of our parts, but we both knew, it had to end. And we ended it, and have both moved on.

But like I said, I do think of him from time to time, but thats only because I am really worried about him. See him and I, both suffer from anxiety, depression, and him other issues like PTSD, ADD/ADHD, etc. and so I am just worried something may have happened after our break up or he did something or he isn't himself or just something is wrong type of feeling.

But I know if I contact him or even go look at his social media pages, that will bring up the habit of always wanting to check up on him, looking on his social media pages all the time etc. And thats never good, because it never makes it better, and help with getting over the person.

So what should I do? Continue to just focus on me, and not think about him, and move on? I am trying my best to not think of him, I really am but it is hard at times. Anyone care to help? What would you do?

[GlassHeart]

Hi. It is going to take a while to get over your breakup. You are going to hurt. You are going to feel crushed and feel like your heart has been ripped out of you.
You are going to miss him and feel a void in your life he once filled. Yes, you are going to peek at his social media, feel tempted to call him. But he's probably fine. Guys rebound from breakups faster than women, typically. He has probably moved on and found someone else to take up with.
Romantic rejection hurts. It's going to get harder before it gets better and there is no magic solution to it. Just be careful and treat yourself right.

[nataly87]

I never understood that, why do guys rebound and get over relationships so quickly, as opposed to girls.

[nenkohai2]

Hi nataly,

Being a guy I can tell you that the guy/rebound thing is a total myth. At most, dating so soon after a big break up is a distraction technique to keep from thinking about the immediate past relationship.

This my view, but I feel pretty strongly about it. I hope you start feeling better soon.

[100footpole]

Nataly87 & Nenkohai2,

I think there is always a difference in "recoverablility" in a relationship. In a relationship that works I think this difference changes between the two partners, but for some of us sensitive souls it feels like we are constantly giving more than we are getting.

I find that I am able to make peace with my wife when I think hard about all the compromises she is making for me rather than concentrating on what needs I am not meeting. Of course I need Prozac to alter my state of mind to be able to get on that road.

[defeated]

My now Ex-Boyfriend and I, broke up 2 weeks ago, and its been really hard for me to get through. I've had trouble sleeping, eating, and going out to like the store etc. I did finally go out and shopped around with my family, this past week, but it was difficult, but I am also proud of myself of doing it too. Anyway, I do think of my Ex-Boyfriend from time to time, because him and I were together for 1 year, and we both did care for each other a lot, loving each other too. So the break up was difficult on both of our parts, but we both knew, it had to end. And we ended it, and have both moved on.

But like I said, I do think of him from time to time, but thats only because I am really worried about him. See him and I, both suffer from anxiety, depression, and him other issues like PTSD, ADD/ADHD, etc. and so I am just worried something may have happened after our break up or he did something or he isn't himself or just something is wrong type of feeling.

But I know if I contact him or even go look at his social media pages, that will bring up the habit of always wanting to check up on him, looking on his social media pages all the time etc. And thats never good, because it never makes it better, and help with getting over the person.

So what should I do? Continue to just focus on me, and not think about him, and move on? I am trying my best to not think of him, I really am but it is hard at times. Anyone care to help? What would you do?

I totally agree that you should be continuing to focus on yourself. I think going to check on him via social media will make the process of getting over him a lot harder on you. Dealing with a breakup is hard and as cliche as it sounds, time helps heal it all. If I were in your position, I would not contact him, right now is the time to focus on you. Hang in there. *hugs*