Hey everyone!
My first time being on a forum like this. I'm 25, I've been struggling with depression since I was 13...it's had it's ups and downs, good years and bad. I suppose it's taking an unexpected turn...over the past six months I have felt my thought pattern change completely - like everything in life is just...pointless. Irrelevant. Makes for less pain. But is quite...hopeless.
Having said that, I'm a huge joker (maybe partially because of my depression and the fact that I take nothing seriously), I love to have fun, I have many friends and a good, stable job. I'm not sure why my brain thinks the way that it does. Sometimes I feel separate from my own self. I guess you all understand, eh? I joined this site because I feel guilty for being unhealthy when my parents or friends seem worried with some of my sporadic behaviors. I don't have meltdowns (I used to). I stopped self harming years ago. I just make...dumb choices. Frequently. I suppose I'm on here for them. I feel I should improve myself for them. They are my heart and soul, after all.
Just wanted to introduce myself. Here we all are, at the bottom...but don't they say it's lonely at the top, anyway?
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself,
I am large - I contain multitudes."
-W.W.
Hey ya'll ;)
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
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- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon May 19, 2014 3:46 am
- Location: New Zealand
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- Posts: 9
- Joined: Sun May 11, 2014 7:18 pm
- Location: Ottawa
Right you are....I guess sometimes I just do things that are a bit short term fun/long term damage, very knowingly. It's an escape, an adrenaline rush, whatever. I'm much better at taking the responsible route now than I used to be.
I'm actually seeing a counselor tomorrow evening for the first time....eek! Wish me luck...
I'm actually seeing a counselor tomorrow evening for the first time....eek! Wish me luck...
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