new here...

[Frame]

I thought the same things that 4Everme wrote as I read this post. I've been through much craziness, but I've always felt like it was emotions, not voices or hallucinations, that drive my actions. I can't imagine what is must be like to be living such a splintered life or how I would approach the future. Not that my approach to the future is all that positive any way.

I've come to realize there is a large part of my life which wasn't really under my control as I had been lead to believe. The word laziness has always been a label I compulsively tried stay away from. I never thought I was lazy, but given my aptitude vs. my progress it would be easy to make the case. The only missing part is me sitting around doing nothing, that's not me. But I've accomplished so little and now I know it's because I struggle so hard to look forward; to prepare to do takes so much energy that there is little energy left to do.

I might not like reflecting on my past, but I can see it as a continuum. I get the sense that, with schizophrenia, it must be difficult to see your past as some sort of progression. Is that true? I would think that a splintered past would make planning the future that much harder, am I right? I'm trying to see a bit through your eyes.