never ending despair.

[shadowinside]

I am an 18 year old freshmen in college. I struggle with deep depression, and I can never have relief from it. I don't have anyone to talk to.

[Frame]

There are people here listening Shadow.
And there are people here who know how it feels.
I wish I had more time to talk ATM. But keep talking and if someone doesn't get right back, hold on. Someone will find you here.

There are many times when I hesitate to say, It's going to get better. But as a freshman in college, (I've been there. I know what it's like sometimes) depression for you may or may not ever go away completely (depends a bit on the roots) but it's bound to get better than it is right now.

Tell us a little more about where you thing your depression might be coming from. Tell us what you think might be making it worse.

Welcome;
Frame

[Alaska1958]

It seems like there are a lot of us that suffer from depression. I've heard it theorized that it serves a function, from an evaluationary standpoint, but it is hard for me to see it. I was 19wwhen I first walked into a mental health clinic andiit's been dogging me ever since. I have known many who suffer for a period of time and then find relief though, so don't take my meaning wrong.

For some it seems toccome and go, for others they find successful treatment. Take heart, there are things you can do that can help. Regular exercise is good, getting involved with new activities and hobbies is also helpful. I found volunteering at something you can believe in, for me it was public radio, a food bank and at a local soup kitchen helped.

How are your classes going? The depression always interfered with my ability to focus and I ended up dropping out of school. It has been a lifelong regret of mine though, so I do encourage you to try and stick it out. What's your major?

[shadowinside]

Thank you Frame. I've been depressed for several years, but it really got bad in the past 4 months. This summer I made two attempts on my life and was hospitalized. Ever since then they have been trying to figure out medication to help the anxiety and depression. And it hasn't worked yet. I have no friends here and no one to talk to, which does not help. People told me it was burdening and difficult for them to help me, and I don't want to be a bother, so I've just stopped confiding in anyone. I don't want to be selfish or make anyone's life harder.

Alaska, I completely understand why you did that, classes are really a struggle. I just don't care at all. My major is psychology, I want to work for non profits organizations.

[fallen]

i am sorry you do not have anyone to talk to, but i advise finding a mentor , or a college cousellor you can trust.
by experiencing pain we learn wisdom, from wisdom comes compassion, from compassion comes a want to help the planet and the people who dwell on it, animals included.
to be a great psychologist you have to know pain, suffering, and loneliness
otherwise how can you have a knowing of what they, your patients go through.
if you had died the world would have lost a beautiful human being.
be brave.
take care.

[Alaska1958]

The non profits I've worked at have been really great places to work. Good people who are trying to do something they believe in that helps the community. I've talked to others whohhavegone into ppsychology who were battling their own demons. Good luck with your studies.

Do you have a counselor or a therapist? Fallen has some good, positive suggestions. I'm not quite as upbeatas he is, but it's a struggle, I'm sure, for most of us to maintain a good attitude.

[Frame]

I think Alaska and fallen have constructive important suggestions. I'm glad you two are around. I sometimes wonder if there is something happening in the world lately is bringing us down. Perhaps that's too simple. I remember the seventies; they sucked. A whole city froze Kahn out. He kept going. His life, what ever he accomplished, doesn't read as a happy one. It certainly was a worthy one.

Keep going everyone. You are worthy.

[shadowinside]

I had a therapist back home, but since coming to college I haven't seen anyone. I have an appointment in 2 weeks.

[Frame]

When I was in college, the Psychology Department had their students do sessions. They still had to conform to patient privacy and they weren't full of advice (but how many therapists are?), but they listened. That's what they were getting graded on. And it was kind of nice to be able to let some things out, right there on campus, that you wouldn't want to share with friends or class mates (although I bet they heard some of the same stuff from most other class mates). That might not be available, but you might want to be sure.