new here and just needed a place to vent

[prometheus91]

I'm 21 and i have a caring family, but i just can't talk to them about this and i don't have any friends who are any where near close enough for me to vent my crazy to them. my whole life i worked to build up a persona of myself as someone who can roll with the punches and can still be there when they need me. recently though its just getting to be to much. I have gone my whole life until about four months ago without any friends or even having talked to girls, because i knew if anyone truly got to know me they would want nothing to do with me. Then about three weeks ago a cute girls came up to me and gave me her number and i really liked her and against my better judgement i let her through my defenses and now she won't even respond to my texts. The same day that happened i had a job interview which i tanked because i kept thinking if a girl who comes up to me and gives me her number can't stand me how am i supposed to impress an interviewer enough to hire me? I know that my so called logic makes no sense but my brain really doesn't seem to care. these events are now conspiring to make my drinking problem and depression even worse. i spent all day just laying in bed drinking, watching TV, and thinking of different was to kill myself even though i don't think i could because i know it would destroy my family and i can't stand the thought of causing that. so I'm stuck in a job i hate a life i can't find joy in and with death outside of my grasp.

[sunflowers]

Your confidence has taken a knock but you are worth knowing, you seem like a caring person. Sending you a hug xx

[App]

Hi Prometheus 91. It's good to meet you!
A.

[SilentWaters]

Hi prometheus91,

I feel for you, the situation sounds painful. I can certainly relate to much of what you are saying. On the bright side, if a girl gave you her number it means you're at least doing something right. Whatever happened after that is unfortunate, but more likely is about her and not so much you.

Regardless, you are clearly not happy with your life as it is so the first thing to address is that. Perhaps it's time to sit down and put a plan on paper about how to get back out of the hole you're in. I know that's the last thing you feel like doing, jumping out a window may seem more appealing, but taking steps to a happier you will pay off in ways you can feel fairly quickly.

Step one would be to think of where you would like your life to be in 5 years time (or just one year), then come back to us and we'll all brainstorm ways to make that happen. How does that sound?

Please go ahead and tell us more about you, many here would like to help you

[Sheep]

Hi Prometheus, it's nice to meet you. I can understand not having anyone to vent to or talk to. Of all the friends I've made with work and school and family, I wouldn't be comfortable telling any of them about my personal issues and struggles. I guess we learn to present ourselves in a way that makes it seem like we're doing alright when really we're lonely and could just use someone to listen to us rant. I'd like to hear more about your situation if you're willing to give it, so feel free to PM me anytime.