can't sleep

[ghostlady]

Hi,I am new here. Nothing is going right in my life right now, hasn't been for awhile, I was off work for two months recovering from an injury, now I am on lay off, it is really rough, bills collectors are calling every day wanting to be paid, and I am really depressed,my car isn't working, I can't get to the mental health clinic, don't have cash for my depression meds, I started drinking again after 28 years of being sober- thats ok though, I haven't drank today.

[Frame]

Hi Ghost;

Would you say after 28 years that your an alcoholic or a determined abstainer.
I'm not trying to be funny; with so many things out of control (I'm right beside you there) would you say your self medicating or slipping back into another uncontrollable activity?

[ghostlady]

Yes I am an alcoholic, I did great for a very long time, but this last 12 months has been very difficult, I took really powerful pain drugs when I had orbital frature surgery, but it is my fault, I know I was not doing ok on the pain meds and choose not to tell my Doc, I have not drank today,I kind of told myself that it was better to drink then to kill myself, and that is still where I'm at. I have a choice, and right now I am not choosing the best option.

[Frame]

I just posted something yesterday about options. To para-phrase my own paragraph, I said they we all choose the best option we can. The problem with depression (and perhaps most other pathologies) is that we experience a drastic narrowing of our perceived options.

I've all my life been a trouble shooter, a problem solver. My creativity has dropped drastically in the last few years. I often blame depression; but whatever is the root, it manifests in a more limited ability to see options.

So, OK, your drinking. And no body here wants you to drink yourself to death. I for one wouldn't want you to loose any vital organs to alcohol poisoning. But when you present yourself the options: kill yourself, have a drink; I'd say between the two you chose the better option.

So (and I know this is hard; do as I say, not as I do.) try not to be too hard on yourself. That was a correct choice; and try to concentrate on visualizing new options. This...being here...I'd say was a new option and another good choice.

[ghostlady]

Thank you, a little support goes a very long way, hopefully I will be able to pass it on someday.

[veggiemark]

Hi. I'm sober 23 years,depressed for most of my life. I can say that drinking does not make anything better,does not take the depression away,only makes it worse
I wish I had an answer beyond that