Depressed beyond point

[Reason]

am at a stage in my life where I feel that all hope is lost,I am 20 years old but feel the challanges I am faced with are beyond my age. I never had a relationship with my father whilst he was alive and even now after his death(5 years ago) I still have not forgiven him for not being in my life or leaving me money behind to help me. I come from a poor family but they managed to put me through high school and a year of varsity where I dropped out this year cause of not having financial aid,my mother is unemployed,my grandmother is the only one working regardless of her old age. I had a fallout with my sister in January because she cost me the only chance I had of carrying on with my studies and we have not talked ever since. Its been 7 months at home and I still have not found a job,I have trouble sleeping(sleeping after 3am is a normality to me).My friends are progressing and my life is going no where,it really hurts. I feel like God does not hear my prayers anymore. All I have ever wanted to do was to study and thus provide for my family cause regardless of how poor they are,with the little that they have they have always tried to make things better for me. I have nothing to live for but I am not contemplating suicide cause I know my families future depends on me succeding. I feel so lonely cause I have pride and thus have no one to confide in about my situation and heartaches. Please help me I do not know what to do anymore?

Thank you for listening.

[fallen]

most of the successful people in life dropped out of school or left very early.
though an education is important it is not everything.
they succeeded by never giving up.
pick up a few books in your local library on people who did it tough and succeeded and you will be inspired, eg nelson mandela there are thousands of them.
i'm sorry you missed out on a relationship with your father that can be tough,but things happen in life to test us, they make us stronger.
take care