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Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 12:22 pm
by littlepickle
i suffer with social issues too. constantly worried i say or do the wrong thing and over analyse conversations afterwards to see if i 'did wrong' - ludicrous i know but i don't know how to stop it. i'm always worried people are judging what i say and what i look like. i am happiest at home away from people, not a great habit i know! x

Posted: Thu Sep 09, 2010 3:21 pm
by hollyann
Lisalou never heard of that. Thanks for sharing.
Panguin sorry you deal with it maybe you will find some of the ideas useful.
Littlepickle hope it gets easier for you.
How youve been jaymn?


Posted: Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:30 am
by Jaymn
I'm doing good. Thanks for asking. :)

I haven't had any friends for years either, and I would rather stay at home. I recently met up with friends I haven't seen in years though. I was so happy! They greeted me with open arms. :D I feel like I want to be around them again. I don't want this old life/way of doing things. I'm going to try and hang in there. I was surprised and happy that they treated me like it was before. This all sort of happened in a few short days. Amazing...
I hope this can happen to you guys too. You just have to put a little effort into it, and slowly start doing things again, and regaining your friends again. It can be done. :)

Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:15 am
by Obayan
Yes, it can be done. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 3:58 pm
by StrengthWithin
hollyann wrote:With my anxiety if I'm having it while out somewhere I do what I need, or leave everything (if possible) and head home. Even if it means gathering myself in the car until I calm down enough to drive. One thing I don't do is force myself out when I'm already anxious if I can avoid it because it tends to make my panic attacks worse. I just try to accept them and move on. and accept my limitations but try again when it eases up. And yes they can definately come out of the blue and return, but hold on to the fact if they let up before they can and will again. Hope that maybe this makes sense and can help you.


That's really interesting, Holly. I have REALLY bad anxiety, but I do the opposite and I DO force myself out of the house. As insane as that sounds (and yes, I AM nuts. lol.), I find that it really does help me. Now, my PANIC ATTACKS DO WORSEN at first, but after a while, my body almost becomes automatically tired of having anxiety and it goes away. . . to a degree.

Honestly, if I didn't do this, I would NEVER get out of the house. *sigh* Anxiety stinks. :[

Posted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:10 pm
by Obayan
That's the great thing about these forums. Many different points of view and many different options on what has helped others so we can choose what to try to help ourselves.


Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 3:10 am
by Jaymn
Wow, there are alot more people on here than I thought that had SA. Thanks for posting! I've done alot more now to control my SA. It's helping.

Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:16 am
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
It is amazing, the information and support that I see and read here. Thanks to all for that.


Posted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:49 pm
by TackingIntoTheWind
I have a tendency towards social anxiety, and panic attacks. In fact the trigger that drove me to realising that I REALLY needed help, and sent me to see my GP to get that help, was a weekend in June of last year that ended up turning into a virtually continuous panic attack!
Since then I've been more conscious of the need for me to proactively keep myself on an emotionally " even keel " as it were. If I feel myself getting tense, panicky, or starting to skip straight to the " worst case scenario ", I make a conscious move towards calming myself and reminding myself of my " positives ".
I find that I sometimes tend to feel calmer if I'm sitting somewhere like a library or a coffee shop, where I can be with people, but in a low-key, relatively inconspicuous way. I think my panic attacks are to some extent worsened by isolation and being too much by myself. And, I can start to feel social anxiety if I'm around too many people, particularly if it's for too long or in too confined a place. So, I'm consciously striking a balance between being too much " in the world ", and too little " in the world "
I find that regulating my breathing, ( So, that I'm breathing slowly and deeply, and the out-breath is longer than the in-breath, works for me as a way of calming myself and easing an incipient, or actual panic, attack.
Also, distracting myself helps me as well. Eg. Sometimes if I'm feeling edgy while on a bus or at a bus stop, I'll start counting the number of cars going the other way of a certain colour. I find that counting, say, blue cars does help me calm myself. I have a slight touch of OCD, so keeping track of how many blue cars I've seen, whether a car is actually blue, or not-quite-blue-enough to count, etc helps me distract myself from my anxiety.
Thanks for the suggestion, (((( lisalou ))))! 8) I'll try it myself. I do sometimes wonder what the correct amount of eye-contact is, in some situations. I don't want to seem to be avoiding eye-contact, ( Shifty? ), but I don't want to seem to be staring at someone, ( Confrontational? )

Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 11:59 am
by mpal050
This sounds wierd but.....

Just 'being' in the moment. Put yourself in a safe space if you can. Accept you're internally having a massive freakout for no reason, and it may seem irrational but well - it's happening! And if there is a reason, know that you're not wierd or wrong, that you will feel safe again like you did before.

Thats my internal dialogue anyway.

Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:34 am
by TackingIntoTheWind
VERY wise advice, (((( mpal050 ))))!
This is what I am working at doing, and working at getting better at doing, as much as possible. I work at reminding myself that there IS a reason for how I'm feeling that is valid, ( At least from my own frame of reference. ), and that I WILL have a future, however much my future may seem " broken and irretrievable " while I'm actually feeling overwhelmed and afraid.

Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:51 am
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
((((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind )))))))))))))))))

Thank you for sharing such postivie and firm words. Kind of gives me a gentle kick in the pants and see things from both sides of that fence.

Thank you!!!


Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:07 pm
by TackingIntoTheWind
You' re welcome, (((( Warmie ))))! :)
( Although, I would want to emphasise that I would never contemplate giving ANY woman ANY sort of " kick in the pants ", ( However gentle! ) Like all well-adjusted men, I'm frightened of women! :) :wink:

Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:39 pm
by Warmsoul/Jeanie13
((((((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind ))))))))))))))))))

As always you are kind, polite and a friend to me. As always, you give me a reason to smile and laugh.

Know there is no need of being frightened with me. Yes, I am a woman, but I don't bite. :wink:


Social anxiety

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 2:29 am
by Dudeskies101
I have a slight variant on the average social anxiety. When I walk through a shopping centre, I look at everybody in the eyes for a split second then look away. Kind of like I'm gathering data about them. However I do it to frequently and people begin to notice. When i go to my gym i do the same and before it i feel as though ive made eveyone around me uncomfortable and i can't stop it.