death

[greatestgift]

I dont even know where to start. I am not afraid of how it is going to happen but more in 200 years there will be no sign of us here. Am I going to be with my man over there or is this life completely fake. It keeps me up at night, I cant have any kind of conversation with anyone because all I do it cry. When I drive by a cemetary all i think about is no hope just a hole. Do i get to see my kids grow? It is horrible and there is nothing that I can do about it. I want to bang my head against a wall until it stops. All the words and thoughts. I just want them to stop.

[crystalgaze]

I think I understand your concern.... As you said, a lot of that is beyond our control....

How about this way of thinking of a cemetery.... as a stone city/palace to honor the memory of our loved ones who have passed ???

I think my best advice on this would be to make the most of the present... Instead of wondering if you will get to see your children grow, why not watch them grow now?

It's not easy, but don't give up just yet.

[hollyann]

((((((((greatestgift))))))))))) I hope you try crystals advice and that it works for you. There are no easy answers for this. I guess it comes down to what you believe if you believe something, and thats where many people learn to draw comfort from.

Holly

[Obayan]

Hi. I'm kind of assuming you are dealing with the loss of a spouse? So am I. I lost my husband of 22 years not too long ago. I know the hole that is left behind and the pain that keeps trying to consume. Everyone keeps telling me the first year is the hardest and it gets better after that. A little easier. From my own experience, i can say that they weren't wrong. The first year was hell. But it did get easier. I still love my husband and miss him very much. But I also realise that he died, not me. I still have a life to live. And even though it isn't the life I had planned, I can still be ok. As far as what happens on the other side, who knows. I guess it depends on what you believe in. I believe everything has a soul. All life has meaning. And when we pass, we become a part of what is around us. Those we leave behind. Maybe that's just a way to keep him here with me a bit longer, i don't know. But i find comfort in it. I hope you can too.

[greatestgift]

that i say and do i notice that it is always there. again waiting for the levels to come up is horrible. I would love to spend the day in bed but I am not tired enough. as for affermation, i have never been a positive thinker, but not completely negitive.

I need to figure out where this "fear" came from and that is not easy. I have had a hystrectomy at the age of 30, and now have to face mortality. But in the mean time I some how relate sleep as death and no longer want to sleep. I was always so sure that it would be my hubby to go and infact I am now sure that it is going to be me.

It has been VERY difficult in that last weeks, always ready to cry and never a break in the thoughts. But thats what they are.

My dad has OCD which i have been told could have contributed to this. But i realize that I can not control this and yet the thoughts will not stop.
and they build and build until I hit my peak. I try to catch it early, and take a little calm me down pill, but I was at a point once that I even stopped taking advil for a headache. I have started to notice that I will be talking my self down while doing something i am unsure of, but have done many times before. I could see this getting out of hand if these new meds do not start to help.

[jasikamarshel]

The fear of death is quite a natural condition,in actuality, none of us really knows what will happen to us after we die unless you have been recently brought back to life after having been pronounced dead for at least an hour,A person who fears death excessively may not be able to enjoy life to the full,to over come from this,It is natural,but when fears affect a person's perception of himself or relationships with people around him, it should be treated adequately so he can continue functioning as a productive member of society,You have to remember that a phobia will leave you crippled for life if you don't seek help, so you better act soonest.

[spirowilliam]

Death is the circle of the life and it is the reality fact. So, it is require to accept the fact. Death is not depend on anyone even time also. So, don't beware for the death.

[Obayan]

Maybe think a little more about life instead of the ending of it..... ?

[greatestgift]

WOW i can not belive the insensitive comments. I dont want my life to end, and having anxiety and a phobia is not as simple as not thinking about it. A gripping fear that makes it so hard just to lay in a bed and sleep, or travel in a car but you are afraid of what its at every little cornor.

It is not the same as depression but just as debilitating. So thanks to the wonderful last 2 posters because on top of suffering from panic attacks I now take shots from a website that is supposed to be a little more understanding.

[Obayan]

I'm sorry... I think you misunderstood me. I didn't mean to sound insensitive or anything like that. I meant would it help to try and find something to distract your mind with until the panic passes? Like keeing busy with something else like a craft, or writing, or art. I know it helps me to be creative. Sorry if I came off sounding other than what I intended.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((( greatestgift )))))))))))))))

I am sorry you got some 'negative' responses. Remember this is a supporting forums and there are many that do just that. Give support at every chance.

A fear is a fear, very real to the one that has it. I don't know anyone that doesn't have some sort of fear. I have them and deal with them, daily.

Please don't give up on us, we are here to support you, give you hugs and show we truly do care. What it is all about.

Please continue posting, will do my best to reply and encourage you in any way possible.

Warmie

[brayanfraser]

Phobia fear of death or thantophobiais quite natural phenomenon. None of us knows what will happen to us after our death. But to be morbid death fear is unhealthy and dangerous for our lives.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Yes many phobias out there, but here we just give support and try to help each other.

Warmie/Moderator

[Varren]

The way I deal with it is I just accept it. Everyone will die, be it in 1 week, 1 year, 10 years or 80 years after they're born and nothing is going to change that, so worrying about something that hasn't happened yet is not going to do any good. I just get on with my life one day at a time - there's too many other things to do to think about and do in life than worry, especially when worrying serves no point.

[Inkabod]

Death is a fear to some and wonderment to others. Humans have a bad way of dealing with stuff they do not understand take it apart see how it ticks or destoy it. that by itself is messed up. I myself used to fear death and to get someone to talk about it is a feat in itself. How do you deal with it is age old question. Thats a tuffy I'll tell you how I deal with it I keep it at a distance but deal with it on its terms. Its there so I try to get better understanding of it find other points of views on the subject and if you get a better understanding of it maybe it'll ease your thoughts about it.I'm not saying this is 100 % guarantee this'll work its just my views on death and what works for me.