Elephant Jokes 36-69
Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:48 pm
Posted: Mon Oct 24, 2005 9:00 pm
36. Q: What's the fastest thing in the jungle?
A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.
37. Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till Autumn.
38. Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
39. Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the first one.
40. Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
41. Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
42. Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
43. Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
44. Q. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A. To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
45. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.
46. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: Elephino.
47. Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
48. Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
49. Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
50. Q. What is the difference between an elephant and a blueberries?
A. They're both blue, except for the elephant.
51. Q: Why are elephants feet shaped the way they are?
A: To fit on lily pads.
52. Q: What is that stuff between elephants toes?
A: Slow natives.
53. Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of
custard.
54. Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.
55. Q. Why do elephants have four feet?
A. Because lady elephants have big twats.
56. Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
57. Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?
A: Because sheep don't have strings.
58. Q: What do elephants use for condoms?
A: Snakes.
59. Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?
A: Epileptic pigmies.
60. Q: What is an elephant's sex organ?
A: His foot... If he steps on you you're f*****!
61. Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders?
A: A pachydermatoligist.
62. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
A: A two-ton pickup.
63. Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"
64. Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?
65. Q: What is the height of ambition?
A: An ant climbing an elephant's leg with the intention of rape.
66. Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.
67. Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.
68. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
A: About 40 lbs.
69. Q: How do you equalize the two?
A: Feed the elephant.
36. Q: What's the fastest thing in the jungle?
A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.
37. Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till Autumn.
38. Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
39. Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was stapled to the first one.
40. Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
41. Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
42. Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
43. Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.
44. Q. Why do elephants wear tiny green hats?
A. To sneak across a pool table without being seen.
45. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.
46. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: Elephino.
47. Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
48. Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
49. Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
50. Q. What is the difference between an elephant and a blueberries?
A. They're both blue, except for the elephant.
51. Q: Why are elephants feet shaped the way they are?
A: To fit on lily pads.
52. Q: What is that stuff between elephants toes?
A: Slow natives.
53. Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of
custard.
54. Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work.
55. Q. Why do elephants have four feet?
A. Because lady elephants have big twats.
56. Q: What do elephants use for tampons?
A: Sheep.
57. Q: Why do elephants have long trunks?
A: Because sheep don't have strings.
58. Q: What do elephants use for condoms?
A: Snakes.
59. Q: What do elephants use for vibrators?
A: Epileptic pigmies.
60. Q: What is an elephant's sex organ?
A: His foot... If he steps on you you're f*****!
61. Q: What do you call any elephant who is an expert on skin disorders?
A: A pachydermatoligist.
62. Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
A: A two-ton pickup.
63. Q: What did the female elephant say during sex?
A: "Can I be on top this time?"
64. Q: What did the elephant say to the nude man?
A: Cute, but can you breathe through it?
65. Q: What is the height of ambition?
A: An ant climbing an elephant's leg with the intention of rape.
66. Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.
67. Q: What is beautiful, gray and wears glass slippers?
A: Cinderelephant.
68. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
A: About 40 lbs.
69. Q: How do you equalize the two?
A: Feed the elephant.