(((((((((((((( Jes ))))))))))) thank you!

Off-and-on topics to brighten your day. Please feel free to comment upon what you've read.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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(((((((((((((( Jes ))))))))))) thank you!

Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Oct 18, 2010 5:16 pm

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces,nephews,or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit?"
"We have forbidden fruit?"
"Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

" No Way !"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

'Why ? '

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not"

"Did too"

"DID NOT"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said

5. The main purpose of holding children parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!

Warmie 8)

Monty
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Postby Monty » Mon Oct 18, 2010 5:54 pm

Yet again, you have made me chuckle Warmie.

I have children of my own and can certainly relate to many of the things that you said.

Like the thought of the warning on the aspirin bottle.

Also about grandchildren being our reward for not killing our own children.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:28 pm

(((((((((((( Monty )))))))))))))))))

I only bring to you from Jes. She is the one that causes the chuckles with this. :)

Warmie

TackingIntoTheWind
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Postby TackingIntoTheWind » Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:45 am

Like a lot of men, I don't think that I'm ready to be pregnant. Which is why I started taking the contraceptive pill... :wink:

( Actually, I'm not sure if I've got " the facts of life " quite straight in my mind. :? When my parents explained to me about " the birds and the bees " they weren't very clear. So, I spent my last two years in school " going steady " with a wasp! :roll: )

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Oct 20, 2010 7:09 pm

((((((((((((( TackingIntoTheWind ))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you, I so needed that laughter. :)

Warmie


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