If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Butt.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
The Earth Is Full - Go Home
I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
Illiterate? Write For Help
Honk If Anything Falls Off
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep] If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over
Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
[At a restaurant] Guys: No Shirt, No Service. Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
Boldly Going Nowhere
Heart Attacks - God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
Saw It. Wanted It. Had A Fit. Got It!
Warmie
