TEACHERS:
Teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty lounges and have been seen grading in church.
Teachers cheer when they hear April 1 does not fall on a school day.
Teachers drive older cars owned by credit unions.
Teachers clutch a pencil while thinking and make notes in the margins of books.
Teachers can't walk past a crowd of kids without straightening up the line.
Teachers have disjointed necks from writing on boards without turning their backs on the class.
Teachers are written up in medical journals for size and elasticity of kidneys and bladders.
Teachers have been timed gulping down a full lunch in 2 minutes, 18 seconds. Master teachers can eat faster than that.
Teachers can predict exactly which parents will show up at Open House.
Teachers never teach the conjugations of lie and lay to eighth graders.
Teachers know it is better to seek forgiveness than to ask permission.
Teachers know the shortest distance and the length of travel time from their classroom to the office.
Teachers can "sense" gum.
Teachers know the difference among what must be graded, what ought to be graded, and what probably should never again see the light of day.
Teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk.
Teachers will eat anything that is put in the workroom/teacher's lounge.
Teachers know secretaries and custodians run the school.
Teachers hear the heartbeats of crisis; always have time to listen; know they teach students, not subjects; and they are absolutely non-expendable.
