Depression Understood Forums

Its been a while since my last post. I don't really know what to say except for things and I are getting worse. I know that things don't just get better over night, but how can things seem to get worse everyday? I don't know what to do with myself anymore. For the first time in my life I have seriously thought about hurting myself even though I know thats not the answer. How can she say shes not over me yet, but be with him? How can she tell me that our family (we have a 16 month old daughter) is the most important thing to her, but it feels like she can't wait to be away from me? I know I should feel lucky that I have people who care, but shes the only one I feel that I can open up to. Its only been 16 days since Ive lost everything I ever wanted. I feel like I had 31 good years without any real adversity...so why not me and why not now right? I cannot find joy in anything right now. Ava looks so much like her mom that it truly hurts sometimes to be with her...I mean how f'd up is that. I feel like my world is collapsing around me as I swirl down this drain. There are many people with their hands out to grab me put I dont have the strength to grab on. I feel so selfish for being here because many people on here have REAL problems, but I feel like this is starting to turn into a REAL problem.

I know this is gonna come out sounding trite, but it takes time to heal after a loss. Any kind of loss has to be given the time for a full grieving process to happen. But know that we are here with you.

I wish you the best

(((((((((((( discarded ))))))))))))))))

Depression is a hard thing to have to deal with, even when we can keep our normal life just that, normal. When there are changes as you are enduring it makes it so so hard.

Perhaps venting here will help release some of those feelings. We do listen and we do care.

Wanted to post back to you to let you know, your post are read, we care. Will keep you in my thoughts and send all the good I can to you through this.

Warmie