i feel worthless

[BlueberrySman]

ive never done this before and i feel weird for doing it but here goes. im severly depressed. i feel so worthless all the time. but i wasnt always like this. i had a girlfriend when i was 16. we feel in love and hurt her. emotinaly not physicaly. i have never forgiven myself.

i said bad things to her when she wanted time apart. iwas just scared of losing her. ive missed her every day for the last three years since. after we broke up i stoped going out, stoped meeting people for events. quit every sport i played. i now wish only to be alone. ive also considered suicide . i even got a donor card. but thinking of my parents i cant do it.

i feel so ugly all the time,so fat,so angry. i wish i never existed.

thankfully my x has a new boyfriend and is very happy. .
i think i might be an atention seeker or someting. im not sure, but im sure im shallow,and competive. does every1 feel this way and hides it as well as i do or am i truely f*cked up.

[Scarlet]

Hey Blueberry.
I completely felt like that after the breakdown of a past relationship, it completely erased the little confidence I had at the time.
I wish I could give you some proper advice about how to overcome it but as you've probably seen from some of my posts I'm pretty messed up atm too lol.

All I can say tho is that u seem like a really great person, and your only young. Don't give up on you! Try to take care of urself and slowly get yourself out there on the social scene again and you'll find yourself meeting great,new people that interest you and will hopefully help you to concentrate on yourself and the future instead of the memory of ur ex.

Sorry I can't b of more help.

Hang in there!

[Wonder]

Hi Blueberry,

You are never worthless no matter how much you feel that way. I think you'll find help here at this site and I hope you will be able to talk to someone and maybe get some help or counseling, because from what you say, you have been in pain for a long time. If you can't talk to your parents, then maybe a counselor at school or your doctor could connect you will someone who can help. There is hope, so please don't give up.

Take care,
Wonder