UN EMPLOYED NO FRIENDS ZERO INTRESTS

[tishntosh]

yes yes it's true, i'm out of work, my wife works during the day so i'm alone, and i have no friends or intrests, i'm 49 years old, and sitting and watching the world go by.

anyhow, once in a while i take an atavan, which helps, but anyhow just letting you all know~~~~~ that's my story.

[shatteredhopes]

I am in a similar boat, no job, no close friends (except on here where I am anonymous but still feel close to many), and things that used to interest me just don't when I am down. I posted a bit ago feeling totally hopeless, then I just did the smallest thing afterwards productive, responded to an email about something related to old interest and felt a tiny bit better, not much but a tiny bit. Enough to not cry at the moment or feel overwhelmed by the crushing pain in my chest from sorrow. It seems every single time I started to get my life together and get active, something really bad happened that made me spiral down and give up.

My suggestion to you is start small. Could you write a love note to your wife and cook dinner for her or massage her feet after her long day at work? Could you go to the library and just browse the hobby section to see if anything looks remotely interesting? Maybe go to the bookstore or check local parks department or university for free lectures or classes you might want to take, maybe learn to play an instrument for instance? Can you find something you could do with your wife as a hobby that maybe could branch out to be with other couples...ballroom dance, card games, nature walks, golf, karate, scrabble, anything...sometimes we just have to do first, and the interest and better feelings come afterwards "fake it til you make it"...Could you talk to the doctor who prescribes the ativan about possibly an anti-depressant or something that might perk you up a bit and help you get more motivated?

Sorry, I know how much being out of work affects the self-esteem and creates more depression that sends you on a downward spiral from which it is ever harder to turn the tide. I know, it hurts, badly. But you have found a safe place to vent and share feelings and people on here have LITERALLY kept me alive at times with just an encouraging word.

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[tishntosh]

thank you! those are all great suggestions, and yes getting out and forcing yourself to do something is the best advice, for instance tomrrow and saturday it's supposed to be 75 degrees, therefore i shall walk and clear my head for starters. thanks again.

[Obayan]

I agree, getting out and just doing something, anything is a huge help! I used to take a walk every night after dinner. Was uplifting. I also used to hide little notes to my hubby in various places. Just a little stickey note that said "love you".... "thinking of you".... "giving you a hug"..... "miss you".... well, you get the idea. He'd find one at work in his lunch box, or in his sock drawer in the morning, or even stuffed inside his pocket of his pants hanging in the closet. No telling when he'd find them, but it didn't matter because i always loved him and i was always thinking of him. Made him feel pretty good too.

[crystalgaze]

I'm in a similar situation as well.... I am trying my best with it.