my story (trigger)

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun Aug 29, 2010 9:53 am

((((((((((((( Obayan )))))))))))))))))))

A warm hug from a friend that cares.

Warmie

Jake61186
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Joined: Mon Aug 30, 2010 5:08 pm

Thanks.

Postby Jake61186 » Mon Aug 30, 2010 8:36 pm

Thanks for posting your story.

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:43 pm

Nurse just called from my doc's office. She wants me in the lab today to give blood and vitals. I have to be in the doc's office tomarrow at noon. She was VERY upset she couldn't reach me this morning and have me there in person today. I'm so scared right now I'm really freaking out. And I can't reach my two best friends at all. Oh crap i'm scared.

lisalou
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Location: Brighton, England

Postby lisalou » Tue Aug 31, 2010 3:33 pm

oh obayan,i hope so much that it's not bad news. I wish you all the strength in the world to get through this

Lisa x x

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Tue Aug 31, 2010 4:48 pm

(((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))

Best thoughts, prayers and good wishes going with you tomorrow.

Warmie

pickle
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Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2010 2:58 pm

Postby pickle » Tue Aug 31, 2010 6:45 pm

I don't know entirely what is happening, but i love you so, and am lighting incense on my alter for you that whatever the news is, it is workable. You have lots of support here and are well loved.

Monty
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Postby Monty » Wed Sep 01, 2010 12:12 pm

I realize that by time that you read this message, that you will have already been to the doctor.

Hope all is well with you. Doctor's offices have done that to me before and I know the sleepless night you have before you get there.

Hang in.

Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Wed Sep 01, 2010 4:00 pm

It was a sleepless night. A night I spent in the chat room and I want to thank everyone for so much love and support. Nurse called this morning and postponed the meeting until friday. My doc got called away on a family emergency and won't be back until then. So, I guess i have a couple more sleepless nights ahead....

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:08 pm

(((((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))))

Oh dear hon! Sorry you got postpone, my thoughts and prayers still with you, never doubt that.

Warmie

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:25 am

love you so much warmie. i ignored a lot that was going on with my body and physical symptoms that should have started bells ringing because of how much stress there has been lately. concentrating more on my daughter than on myself. i think i'm about to pay for that mistake.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:49 am

((((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))

Not a mistake that you care so for your child. A problem, yes, that you ignore your needs, and I know you do. We talked about that, remember? :)

Know I am here, always.

Warmie

lisalou
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Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:48 pm
Location: Brighton, England

Postby lisalou » Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:38 pm

BEST OF LUCK FOR TOMORROW OBAYAN! xxxxxx

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Thu Sep 02, 2010 7:07 pm

Well, that’s it. The last of the plants from my husband services have died today. I thought in some twisted way that as long as i kept the plants alive, maybe somehow there was still a part of him here with me.
But it's ok. It's time to set aside old memories and make some new ones.
The plants were kind of like a symbol for my grief.
I'll always love harlan. i'll always have a space missing inside where he stood. but it's time to stop grieving and start living again
The plants were a way to keep holding on to what isn't there anymore. And now that they are all gone. I can let go.


Also, today, got another call from doc's office. He has the blood work done and wants me in the office tomarrow as soon as it opens. Not waiting until my apt at noon.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:31 pm

(((((((((((((( Obayan )))))))))))))))))

Big step, but you will keep going, only way to do it.

Hope you sense me with you tomorrow. :wink:

Warmie

Obayan
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Postby Obayan » Sat Sep 04, 2010 12:42 am

Went to the doc today. He dismissed the lump all together as nothing significant. However, the swelling in my legs, feet and hands seems to be of some major concern. He did more bloodwork on me. Chest x-rays, heart echo, ekg, and i'm scheduled for a chemical stress test and then another doc visit on the 12th to see what my options are from there. It seems my heart is getting progressively worse. Not sure what's gonna happen, but whatever it is, i'm going to survive it. I'm back on my meds again now. And ate my last hotdog today.


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