my story (trigger)

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:55 pm

Congratulations on the birth of Kathryn.

I am not sure if this is your first grandchild or not.

If it is your first, you are along for a great ride.
Monty

Obayan
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Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Wed Sep 29, 2010 12:50 am

My grandson (from same daughter) is 22 months old now. My granddaughter is now 36 hours old. :)

tammy1979
Posts: 20
Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 12:53 am

Postby tammy1979 » Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:54 am

obayan i want to tell you how strong i see you as and that you are an inspiration in many ways

Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:38 am

Ok, most of you already know that last friday i had a heart attack and had to have angio done. What nobody does know.... is that i didn't want to call 911 to get help. All i could think of "well, this is one way to be with harlan again".... but i couldn't do it. I've had minor little heart attacks before, but this one was serious. Worse than all the others. and it dawned on me... almost too late... i want to live. Now i'm having a hard time recouperating. I'm weak. My chest still hurts. And my daughter is hovering. Especially after harlan dieing of a heart attack, my own mortality is hitting her pretty hard. I just don't have the energy to comfort her and make her feel ok when i don't feel ok. I just wanted to tell someone. Thanks for listening.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:31 am

(((((((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))))

Thanks for letting us know and thank you for doing what is best for you. Take care of yourself for all of us.

Warmie
“If we admit our depression openly and freely, those around us get from it an experience of freedom rather than the depression itself.”
--- Dr. Rollo May
Sunshine, smiles and love.

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Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:47 pm

I just read your posting this am. I had no idea of the heart attack.

Often I have thought that I was having one and as a result I have had several trips to the emergency room.

Each time I have been ok. That makes me very apprehensive about going there. I have a cardiologist, so should know better.

I am so glad that you decided to go in and that you are ok. I am grateful that you decided that you want to live.

I hope that you recuperate quickly.

Glad that you told us about your daughter. I think that a lot of time some of the members of the forum understand how hard it is to, take care of ourselves and not having the energy to take care of anyone else.

Keep posting. We are always here to listen.
Monty

Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Thu Oct 21, 2010 3:22 pm

Often I have thought that I was having one and as a result I have had several trips to the emergency room.

Each time I have been ok. That makes me very apprehensive about going there.


Don't stop going. I would rather make 100 trips and it be nothing than to have it be something just one time and be too aprehensive or embarrassed to go.

Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Tue Oct 26, 2010 10:02 am

Okay.... friday heart attack.... angio.... sunday released..... home recovering. The following wed, doc's appt. They left behind two blockages. They can't stent them because of where they are located. So rather than do a bypass, we are doing the aggressive medication therapy. All in one day, my old meds were stopped and 7 new ones started. Doc said it would take 4-6 weeks for me to feel normal again. What i'm afraid of, is that there are still 2 blockages there which means i'm still at risk for another heart attack until the meds start to eat away at them. I'm weak, sleep constantly and my chest hurts all the time. It's like one big huge heart attack that never stops. But even with all of this, i still think i made the right choice.

My diagnosis is the same as it has been for the past 15 years. Congestive heart disease with unstable angina and arteriosclerosis, diabeties, ptsd, hypothyroidism, etc....

So here's the good news....

I finally got up the nerve to call the disability office. They said I do qualify for adult social security but not for SSI. I'm not sure what the difference is, but maybe, just maybe something is actually going to go my way for a change. I just might end this nightmare of a year on a good note. I sure hope so.

shatteredhopes
Posts: 664
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
Location: U.S.

Postby shatteredhopes » Tue Oct 26, 2010 12:23 pm

((((((((((((obayan)))))))))))))) so so sorry you are going through so much. Thinking of you.

SSI is for people who have not worked or worked enough to have paid into the system through FICA. SSDI/social security is for those who have worked and paid into the system and you collect based on number of years worked/salary/contributions. Its like an insurance policy. This is really good news as it means you will qualify for a higher amount of disability, whereas SSI is a very small amount, or supplement for those in poverty on social security because they worked at low wages/didn't pay enough in or something akin to that.

So this is good news. I do hope you will try again to get your veteran's benefits. Please contact your congressional office nearest you, as they have caseworkers on staff who are dedicated to helping constituents with services, and vets generally get top priority. Regardless of party, congress tends to want to take care of those who have served our country.

So so sorry my sister my friend that you have so much difficulty right now.
"Sorrow floats" John Irving

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:21 am

I know that it is difficult to get the disabilty designation in Canada.

I was able to get mine a few years ago so when I actually to retire (I am getting getting Pension Benefits under the Canada Pension Plan Disabilty Benefits. My psychiatrist made it possible for me to not have to pay any tax on my benefits. I was a long road.

When I turn 65 and receive the regular CPP payments, I will take a cut in payments. Go figure.

I really am rooting for you to get, just what you deserve in payments. Like you said you might be able to end this nightmare of a year on a good note.

Take care
Monty

lisalou
Posts: 722
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:48 pm
Location: Brighton, England

Postby lisalou » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:22 pm

hi obayan.i havent been on the forums much lately so i didnt know about your heart attack, i'm really sorry to hear of that and all the pain you're in. but i am also so so glad that you survived and that you discovered you have the will to live

wishing you recovery and relief from your pain and suffering

Lisa x x

Obayan
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Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Sat Oct 30, 2010 12:50 am

The incision site got infected. So it's a bit more painful than it should be. But it'll clear up soon with the antibiotics they gave me. Other than that, i'm recouperating really nicely the doc says. I'm sleeping outrageous amounts of time every day. I think it's because of the meds.

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crystalgaze
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Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
Location: USA

Postby crystalgaze » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:35 pm

Hugs for Obie!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Obayan ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
~Crystal

I'm not exactly digging myself out of the hole but creating a tunnel to get out another way. Throwing dirt from one end of the pit to the other isn't going to get me anywhere. Instead, I'll create my own path.

Obayan
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
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Postby Obayan » Mon Nov 08, 2010 2:40 pm

thank you ((( crystal ))) I needed that today

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Nov 08, 2010 4:23 pm

(((((((((((((((( Obayan )))))))))))))))))))

Missing you.

Warmie
“If we admit our depression openly and freely, those around us get from it an experience of freedom rather than the depression itself.”

--- Dr. Rollo May

Sunshine, smiles and love.



Depression Forums | Depression Chat Rooms | Depression Blogs



http://www.depression-understood.org/


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