Depression Understood Forums

Whenever I hear responses like

Stop feeling sorry for yourself..

You're soaking too much in self pitty..

Your being so selfish..

It makes me very discouraged, more angry, more depressed, more determined for the unthinkable. People making comments like that DOES NOT help. It can make other people feel worse and could cause a possibility for them to proceed suicide or homicide. One time I heard that someone was making that kind of statement at support group that the party wounded up getting beaten so badly and ended up in the hospital. People should either respond a little more mildly to others sufferings or don't respond at all. Making comments like that can only make things worse for them..

oh my dear freind ,you have special gifts within you given to you by the very thing that makes you feel so down ,,,,you must not be angry with these people who say these things ,,they dont have the gift of kindness and compassion that you do ,and they cannot grasp how much there words can hurt you ,but we can ,,so reach out and if you should stumble on this long journey ,reach out and we will catch you fall , you are so lucky to have these gifts ,,look deep inside yourself and you will see many good things ,,,,hugs xn728xxxx

Those things can be a bummer... but you know, a lot of times people who say stuff like that don't want to hear it any way... (e.g. what your situation is, etc.)

It's a hard thing really. Sometimes they may have a point. When people told me things like that, I always used to say, "That's okay. You all will not catch me again." What I made sure to do also was keep them out of my space!

Oddly enough (& of course, I am speaking for just myself because I'm usually an exception to the rule; I really haven't been able to help that one from since I was 2), after the initial annoyance & pain, at some point, I ended up all the more motivated to work towards

being more independent of people, of needing people;
trying to achieve a state of non-reliance;
paying closer attention to myself;
focusing on myself more;
trying to work through my issues for ME, so I can be happy
rejecting people's labels more actively--even the doctor's
standing up for myself more (verbally)
ETC.

I think I ended up turning the events around into something positive/something I could use because I truly don't want to go to jail or attempt to end my life again, due to someone else's crap-o-la. If I want to end it, then that's my choice, but NOT because of someone else! (whether it's triggering, persuasion, brainwashing, et al)

(Why give that idiot/those idiots so much power over YOU?! & someone who doesn't know what he/she is talking about to boot?! Personally, I have been there & done that & know that it doesn't pay to go that route. The folks are to be taken with a grain of salt.)

I took my anger & tried to use it in a good way for myself (so it's not just all bad stuff). The only time 2 negatives make a positive is in MATH... I've not really ever seen it work any place else....!

That person who got beaten may have been beaten only because the people in the group have been unable to truly face (& win against) what has been bothering them. That was such an easy enough scapegoat.

Anger is very formidable & it would have been interesting to see how people in the group would channeled it for their growth/situation. It may have been more useful to them that way, but I guess for a moment, they had satisfaction?

I DO FEEL PEOPLE SHOULD BE KINDER TO OTHERS, IN GENERAL! (Absolutely! It's so positive! Why not spread positivity, instead of so much negativity for a change?)

That's probably one of the world's biggest threats & the biggest threat for humans: NEGATIVITY & the hardest part of all? Oh jeez: NOT falling into that mess & NOT getting messed up by the mess--beyond repair, recovery & recreation/rejuvenation!