Depression Understood Forums

i'm a guy who loves being miserable, like being is solidude, had my real downs with some negative feelings which my mind can't take any more but thankfully had someone to pull me back, insanity, hee, i had a small taste of it, but it was only a day when it happened, had to bring my pieces together, i dunno why i did it but it perhaps i was bord, had an incident where i almost died and hated you all for it. Hatred, despair, the sweet silence were very known to me, i'm now satisfied by my own thoughts, i'm a student, and this affects my studies, get usually 70's, it feels like i'm empty a hole has been plunged, i watch anime and i like a character that describes me he is named Ulquiorra Schiffer- 4th Espada, nihilist. That's what happens to you when despair. I know, I see, I hear, I'm a virgo, it describes that some people are negative and apparently it's right for me that is. Being alone is not a problem but this whole thing is the problem, i always have this look just like the character. When i do sin, i can feel the dark feeling, spreading, but you'll probably will feel it when you do sin or not if your a fool. I have been depressed for 3 years now,usually always alone, but that deepened into feeling empty, I came into my senses about a month ago, and have lost how to love. Still, then it deepened into something more that i told you about my real down, i can explain it but will not. I did it because of human nature.

ok darklight32 ,im a virgo ,ive been depressed for 43 years ,i know of your darkness ,and the many bad things we do and feel ,youve told us a little of yourself ,feel free to tell us more when your ready ,i dont know what your looking for yet ,but we will offer support ,and kind words ,like yourself i live in a very dark world ,so dont think your alone in this dark world we inhabit ,but this is your thread and if you wish to more of others pain ,and mine then they are written on the pages of this great forum ,now
you have arrived you have many new freinds ,so welcome home my freind ,talk to us when you feel ready ,we dont judge ,but we will listen
to what you have to say but i must add my freind Fools we are not ! ,,,if you should stumble on this journey you make, call out ,and i will steady you ,that you may not fall best wishes
xn728 (((welcome ))))darklight ken xxx