not knowing
Posted: Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:05 pm
every day/week gets more confusing and more of a struggle getting bounced from one specialist/therapist to another never getting any real answers or help... is it always like this? or do they catch up?
its always seemed my whole life that i have been the only person on this planet and now today it feels like everyone else was always here they was just staying away from me..
its taken me a long long time to attempt to get help for the way i feel and it seems i have started a journey.. i'm not gonna lie i am scared and feel more alone then ever..
Night is the time i feel most vulnerable to my "demon"(i have seen it called this by others can i call it this?)
there is something about the darkness that brings it out more. sleep isnt something i look forward to... every night seems worse then the last
my brain is going overtime all the things i am reading up on about the way i think and feel and react. i think reading up on it all was a bad idea as now i am making myself even more paranoid filling my head with what ifs and how comes but mainly WHY???
i'm not expecting answers i just need to try unload some of it before my brain fills up
Ray
its always seemed my whole life that i have been the only person on this planet and now today it feels like everyone else was always here they was just staying away from me..
its taken me a long long time to attempt to get help for the way i feel and it seems i have started a journey.. i'm not gonna lie i am scared and feel more alone then ever..
Night is the time i feel most vulnerable to my "demon"(i have seen it called this by others can i call it this?)
there is something about the darkness that brings it out more. sleep isnt something i look forward to... every night seems worse then the last
my brain is going overtime all the things i am reading up on about the way i think and feel and react. i think reading up on it all was a bad idea as now i am making myself even more paranoid filling my head with what ifs and how comes but mainly WHY???
i'm not expecting answers i just need to try unload some of it before my brain fills up
Ray