Depression Understood Forums

Is there a way to forget a love?

Pretty tough question.

I know that in my situation I have been badly hurt by people who have dumped me.

No I can't forget them (I can say that often I wish that I could). My memories have faded over the years. As has the intial feeling of devastation and desperation.

Even though I didn't think that it was possible at the time (I can remember telling people that I would never let myself go down that path again) eventually I did let other people in my life, who have proved to be just as important as the others were. Of course not the same, but I fell a deeper kind of love.

It did take a while for the stinging to stop.

Hope that you can write and let us know a little bit more about how things have played out for you. Sometimes it helps to share stuff like that.

nothing to say. I lived orphan, I found the love of my life, the family didn't accept me because of some social issues so I lost my love. We were in a relation for 3 years, we broke one year ago and I still feel as if that fatal day is repeating itself. Still the same pain and sadness. It didn't change at all.

I wonder why I should continue to live when the others who are happy couples or families have to die on each others.

Ah, Blue Tear... I so wish there was something to say to help your pain, but I do feel that time is the only thing that puts a dent in it. I know, you've been apart for a year, but sometimes it takes longer than that to start to feel better, I think.

I hope you can try to keep the faith that there is another love out there for you... and if this person allowed their family to get in the way, I would have to say that you deserve better than that. Someone who will love you for all of the things that you truly are, and not worry about what family thinks. Love is between the two people in it - NO ONE else.

It IS worth sticking around, Blue Tear... believe it or not there is a lot more life for you to live, and a lot more love for you to receive...

((((Blue Tear))))

They said in ancient Greece that the worst kind of misery is to have once been happy.

But y'know, love is out there. And you never know when it'll just walk right up to you.

Until then, live for yourself. It's difficult. Near impossible, maybe. But take solace that there are people here who know how you feel.

Blue Tear... are you still around? How are you?

Just wanted you to know that you are thought of, and everyone here wishes you the best... please let us know how you are dealing when you feel up to it...

Blue Tear,

Unfortunately I don't think that there is a limit imposed, on the length of time that it takes to get over a failed relationship. I know that I had one that ended more than 10 years ago ( have had a few relationships since then) but I still think of that person, more than a decade later. Not as often as I did at the start, but still it is a hurt in my heart. I was totally devasted. Actually fell into a deep depression.

Now I am not entirely sure that you can make the blanket statement, that time can heal all wounds. Sometimes the wound is too deep. I am hoping that you pain will ease that you can find the strength to go out and face the world again.

For me though, the pain has eased. This person just phoned me up one day and told me not to have anything more to do with them. No letters, no phone calls. Of course that was distressing. What bothered me even more (and has followed me in all of my relationships since then) is that I am not just sure what it was I did. I am, now always afraid, that I am going to repeat what I did that ended the relationship. Difficult because I have no idea what I did to precipatate the breakup.

If I can give you some hope, I have managed to find someone that has made my life a lot easier to cope with. The saying "once burned, twice shy" certainly held true for me.

I think that, all of us in the forum, wish that we could wave magic wand, and take away all of the pain. One thing I can tell you though is that we are hear to listen, if that helps you deal with your situation.

hey... sometimes it's not something the dumpee did - it's just that the dumper was either (a) too dumb to see how fabulous you are or (b) just not the right person for you.

Monty girl... you're amazing. Don't forget that.