How My Days Usually Go...

[Aaron]

Hello, this is my first time here. I am a student, and feel depressed lots of the time. I realize there are many people older than me with more and harder probems then me, but I still feel depressed often and want someone to talk to. I live far away from all my friends, and don't get to socialize that much. Everyday, I have to rely on my parents to pick me up from my highschool when it's most convenient for them. That usually means several hours waiting. Sometimes I can visit my friends for a while and thats nice, but there are days when I have lots of homework and things that need to be done and I don't have the option to go home and get these things done. It's usually around 5:30 - ^:30 when I do get home, and I usually pass through a moment of sadness, then anger for no reason. As soon as I get in the car to go home, all feelings of happiness just go away. I have nice friends, and am well liked at my school as far as I know, but at lunch time, my friends work in the caf serving food (a class that I unfortunately didn't get into), and my other friends always go to another friends house, and I, apparently, cannot come becuase her mom doesn't like haing to many people over. Sometimes I wonder if they just are trying to ditch me. So anyways, most of my lunches are spent alone, and I never end up eating, so I go hungry. I know that sounds rediculous, but I just don't want to eat alone. My family doesn't have much money, so thats probably why I live in such a small house (actually a cottage, one floor). Days when I'm feeling down, I just want to go to bed and forget about everything, but my mom insists on getting more animals, which just annoys me. Dogs are constantly barking, and chickens are crowing out my window. My step-dad insists on treating our small back yard like a farm. So, resting and relaxing becomes impossible. I can't have any privacy becase pretty much every room is connected to every oter room is some way, so days when I want to cry, yell or break things, and just let it all out, I have to hold it in, because I don't want my mom to come talk to me and tell me how thing used to be "when she was my age." I sometimes talk to myself, and have gotten myself very depressed occasionally, to the point where I consider suicide. I know it's terrible, but I just keep thinking about how unhappy I am, and that it doesn't appear that anythings going to get any better. So that's what I have to say right now. It feels good to finally let the things I've been thinking out.

[Haitch]

Hi Aaron, please don't apologuise for how you feel, I always think that, why do I feel so down, should I really be feeling this way, there are so many people worse off than me, etc etc etc.

You sound like things are tough at the moment with your life. Everyone needs time on there own to sort out there own feelings in their head. I love my alone time, sometimes putting a sad film on to have a good cry, gets it all out your system and makes you feel better.

Is there anyway you can have some time on your own, can you go for a walk in the evening, maybe make the most of the time you have waiting to be picked up?

Growing up is hard, so many things changing and so many things to think about and School can be a hard place if you are finding things uncertain and feeling unsure about yourself.

At the end of the day you must remember, you are what matters, not what any one thinks. You should be proud of yourself and proud of who you are!!!!!

Wher do you live, what type of things do you like doing at school.

Find it a bit odd with the friends that all go to a house but have a limit on the amount of people!!!!! What are they like?

Keep writing, let us know how you are feeling and what is going on.

This is a good place with good people who will help you when ever you need it.

Haitch x

[xn728]

hi Aaron dont be afraiad to say what you feel on here ,we all give each other support ,i have just taken my new meds and i can hardly keep my eyes open ,so i will be brief, readthe postings and they may help you understand that your not alone ,we all feel differant but we all have a simalar pain ,so reach out our new friend and we will catch your fall ,,,,xn728

[Monty]

Welcome to our family here Aaron.

At the end of your first post, you noted that you felt better for letting some of those things out. Think of what a change it will be when you get to your 100th post. I have gotten to more than 150 posts in way too short a time. Everyone seems to be patient though.

Then we will have gotten the chance to learn about your more. None of us are professionals on the site. Often it seems that professionals spend too much time trying to solve our difficulties in using book knowledge. As if there is going to be an answer to my life problem number 15, on page 23. Sometimes I think it might be a good idea for them to judge put down the books, look who they are listening to in the eye, and do just that "listen".

As I said earlier, that we are not professionals but there have been people here who have given me quite practical advice. Often I guess the best advice comes from those that have "really get it".

We are here for you to unload. There may be some tears in the eyes of those that read the sad posts, but we will try to help.

You are safe here.

[Aaron]

Thank you all, your sympathy is much appreciated. In time, hopefully I will be able to discuss more, but at the moment, I don't have the time to do so. Thank you.

[Aurelia5]

Hi Aaron-
I'm Aurelia and I have a chronic problem with losing letters here, so I am currently using a place in the Other Thought catagory, called Aurelia's hijacked topic. Please go there for my note to you or if you want to talk to me again.

We welcome you with many big smiles and strong hugs.

a5

[Monty]

I'll go lookin for you tomorrow a5.

I have decided that I had better get some sleep. I had a friend call me this morning and she was quite concerned.
I was very fuzzy in the head, and my speech was slurred.

All seems to be ok now.

Maybe the email thing will sort itself out tomorrow. It certainly isn't for lack of trying that we haven't been able to get this email thing going.
Frustrating to the nth degree for me, and I am sure for you also.

Cheers

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((( Aaron )))))))))))))))))))) a hug for you.

Please know the age factor doesn't matter with depression. It hits the young and the old, with my mercy at times.

Please know your post will be read here, replies and support will come your way. There are so many carrying and loving people, willing to listen and give support to you, to each other.

Really hope you will continue to post and keep us updated on yourself.

Warmie/Jeanie13

P.S. Please take care of yourself, you have a family here that cares.

[Monty]

Know that it is sometimes hard to find the time to write, either time-wise or being emtionally ready.

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you. Hope all is well.

[xn728]

just a quick hello monty ,hope your doing ok ,im a bit crancky ,but its quite amusing me ,,best wishes xn728 KEN