My Life In This Shell

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2023 5:29 pm

My Life In This Shell

Postby Texas_Nana » Sat Jan 07, 2023 6:34 pm

Why did I search for a website that might benefit me? I've been really tired lately for no apparent reason. I get enough sleep. I take enough iron. My blood levels are good. My A1C was high, not diabetes high, on my last blood test, but I've been losing weight so that should be going down. I changed my diet months ago, not recently, so diet should not be the issue. That leaves depression as a possibility.

I was raised by an abusive mother. I tried to commit suicide when I was 18. I've been in and out of therapy for years. I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and OCD. My epileptic and paranoid schizophrenic son lives with my husband and me. That's a stressor. My step-mother passed about 7 years ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019. I went through Chemo and had a double mastectomy and reconstruction. Right after my reconstruction, in 2020, my father passed away. I was not able to travel because of how soon it was after surgery so I wasn't able to attend his memorial. In 2021, one of my brothers passed away in August and I lost a granddaughter in November. I semi-retired in January 2022 because my Chemo-Brain made it difficult to keep up with my duties at work; I've been working part-time since. I've been playing games designed to get my brain function back. Last September I was feeling much better and getting bored with so little to do. I took some classes and opened my own internet based business. That business has not taken off, most don't right away. We don't have a monetary cushion because it took money to start this thing. Now I get the feeling that my part-time work may go away soon. That's going to leave us unable to pay the bills. On top of this, my husband's two sons seem to think that we're rich or something and my husband won't disabuse them of that notion. A couple times a year they ask him for money to help with their bills (they are 34 and 40) and he takes money from our retirement accounts to give it to them. My two mentally healthy kids don't ask us for anything. I don't know why his kids can't be adults, too.

I thought that I had these stressors under control. We moved to the country - so far away that we have to go outside to use our phones! - and that's been wonderfully uplifting. It's peaceful and calm here. No noisy or snoopy neighbors. Mother Nature in abundance. It made a huge difference to my demeanor. I learned Reiki, many different types, and use it daily to stay calm and grounded, and to sleep. Up until about a week or so ago, all was fine.

I'm at a loss as to what is causing my extreme tiredness right now, that I'm thinking must be depression. Ideas I might explore?

Thank you.

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Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2022 11:13 pm

Re: My Life In This Shell

Postby Robert_Franq » Sun Jan 15, 2023 11:12 pm

Gosh that is a really whole lot to go through! Amazing that you have managed to make it through all this hardship. I'm glad that the country move made things better for you. I had similar unexplained tiredness a couple of weeks ago. Try sleeping it off for a couple of days.

Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2024 9:07 pm

Re: My Life In This Shell

Postby Mira23 » Wed Jan 17, 2024 9:54 pm

You have had to go through really bad things, and those undertale yellow things have directly affected your psychology. I think you should see a psychologist to get the best solutions. Hope you get over it soon

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