The darkness lifted a bit today but now as night sets in I find it closing in again not sure how long it will linger this time round.
My mental state, still dark, my thoughts destructive and draining there is this utter loneliness, isolation that big divide. We all supposedly have this ability to grow, adapt, overcome, learn. A need to connect with others irrespective of where we started. When your find yourself still standing cold and isolated at the edge of a precipice broken ..your mind struggles to understand the logic in the proses. Who do you blame but yourself you are the only one accountable? There must be something fundamentally wrong with you! There is everything to live for opportunity around every corner, its a mindset its what you make of it!
How long is it reasonable or logical to continue when nothing you do changes the outcome, is that not the very definition of insanity? Every time it comes back its another failure and a piece of me dies there is less hope less fight.. more evidence that I am the problem and given all the time and help I have been unable to keep the darkness at bay. When do you draw the line?
When you have journey trough life and you get to this point you pretty tired you have told your story you have asked for help you have tried it all yet you still overcome with this life draining darkness you started broken and you still broken and its no ones fault but your own! You have had the time the resources and the supposed maturity to overcome whatever obstacle or seeming unfairness you were dealt with in your life that has caused this darkness to manifest.
As you look back on your life you cant find any evidence that you have progressed that you have overcome and healed. So what is left If you have exhausted all options and run out of time, when there is nothing more to do nothing more to say....
Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
2 posts • Page 1 of 1
I believe (at least) one definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. In your case though, it sounds like you are trying many different ways. So why not try putting the beating stick away and give yourself a pat on the back. And how about asking for courage to divorce yourself from self-pity and focus on what you have to be grateful for in life. Before you say nothing, you clearly have access to a digital device for writing your post - so there's one, and there's this depression forum for you to access (and for a*seholes like me to respond!) so there's gratitude number 2. Start small and keep focussed on everything in life to be grateful for, as often as possible every day for the next month and I'm sure you'll begin to dig yourself out of the hole you're in.
All the best
All the best
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