life is a joke, my future is even funnier

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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bydawn
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 17, 2022 5:41 pm

life is a joke, my future is even funnier

Postby bydawn » Tue May 17, 2022 6:13 pm

I never thought i would have to use a forum like this , but i feel like this is my last resort to just talk to people that might understand me , i don't want my friends or family to worry about me . So i'll just get this off my chest and hope for brighter days. It all started a couple of years ago when i got depressed over this girl that i thought loved me, I hurt myself and in a fit of rage even drank bleach , but not enough to k*ll me. that was probably the lowest point in my life , but i felt more sorry for my family because i was an asshole to them. Nowadays i feel almost empty , i feel like i'm good for nothing , i'm clumsy , i'm not good looking , i have bad eye sight , i feel so insecure about my body that i don't even want to be seen some times. At school i mostly sit alone and use my phone , my 2 close friends in my class usually sit and talk near my ex's desk so i just... don't go near there . I don't even know what to do with myself , i have no idea what i will do with my future, what job i'm gonna get or if i'm even gonna be able to get one. typing all of this out feels so weird, like i'm attention seeking , or my problems aren't important , and probably nobody is going to care , but i can't say i didn't try...
Death scares me a lot , even if i believe there is a God , there is no way to guarantee it ,like what if it's just nothing after death.. that terrifies me. and besides, i don't want to die when i have a family that i love so dearly and that loves me back even more . Thank you for reading, have a good night/day.

Col Col
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue May 24, 2022 3:08 pm

Re: life is a joke, my future is even funnier

Postby Col Col » Tue May 24, 2022 3:31 pm

Hi there, thanks for posting. Life sounds tough at the minute. I'm 41 and i really would not want to be back in school now.
With regards to your future, when i was in school i never thought or expected to work at any of the jobs I've actually worked at; i never thought I'd end up on the street homeless; i never thought I'd go to uni at age 34; i never thought I'd go travelling. But I've done all these. I did think I'd have a wife and kids and a big house - i don't! - My point?? Life really is full of surprises and there are many things we just can't plan for
One thing we can control is what we are doing right now. If you find interests and hobbies, oddly enough these can solve many problems. When you follow your interests you will find you don't have time to think about death (at least not nearly so often). When you're focussed on your hobbies other life problems become less worrisome. As you learn more about your interests and practice your hobbies your confidence will naturally grow. Passion about your hobbies will give you a natural glow and people will be interested in you. This and confidence are much more attractive to others than looks. You will find others who share your passions and build strong bonds with them.
This may seem a lifetime away, but you have a lifetime in front of you. If you don't have hobbies or interests then try things. Go outside and look at the birds and insects, try martial arts, be creative. This solution isn't a quick fix but it will set you up for life. Maybe use this idea along with other forms of support
All the best x

bydawn
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue May 17, 2022 5:41 pm

Re: life is a joke, my future is even funnier

Postby bydawn » Wed May 25, 2022 5:05 pm

Col Col wrote:Hi there, thanks for posting. Life sounds tough at the minute. I'm 41 and i really would not want to be back in school now.
With regards to your future, when i was in school i never thought or expected to work at any of the jobs I've actually worked at; i never thought I'd end up on the street homeless; i never thought I'd go to uni at age 34; i never thought I'd go travelling. But I've done all these. I did think I'd have a wife and kids and a big house - i don't! - My point?? Life really is full of surprises and there are many things we just can't plan for
One thing we can control is what we are doing right now. If you find interests and hobbies, oddly enough these can solve many problems. When you follow your interests you will find you don't have time to think about death (at least not nearly so often). When you're focussed on your hobbies other life problems become less worrisome. As you learn more about your interests and practice your hobbies your confidence will naturally grow. Passion about your hobbies will give you a natural glow and people will be interested in you. This and confidence are much more attractive to others than looks. You will find others who share your passions and build strong bonds with them.
This may seem a lifetime away, but you have a lifetime in front of you. If you don't have hobbies or interests then try things. Go outside and look at the birds and insects, try martial arts, be creative. This solution isn't a quick fix but it will set you up for life. Maybe use this idea along with other forms of support
All the best x
Thanks for the advice, i think i'll try to care less about what people think about me and my interests, i need to stop worrying about every single thing in my life and take some more control over it . After all, i really do have a whole lifetime in front of me

Col Col
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue May 24, 2022 3:08 pm

Re: life is a joke, my future is even funnier

Postby Col Col » Mon May 30, 2022 2:25 pm

Your welcome :)


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