Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2020 12:45 am


Postby Jay_lonely » Sat Mar 05, 2022 2:26 am

I have so much to say....but i never say anything yk...i never let myself say anything because i don't want to hurt people but how many times do i have to get hurt before i f****** do something...I hate me i hate my actions i hate my body i hate my life and i hate having to live my life without the people who made it better...I feel weak when i cry i feel weak when i cant stop the crying but then when i stop i don't feel anything i feel numb.....I just wanna be happy that's all i want i wanna be happy with the people i love and the people who love me...funny thing is i'm always the one loving first i'm always the one to fix shi or to reach out and i'm tired I'm so tired of giving a f*** and listening and helping and loving and just f****** supporting everyone else but my f****** SELF. I'm still giving when there's nothing to give left because i used all my energy on people who didn't deserve and don't deserve it....but that's what happens when u love everyone more than you love yourself...When i love i love hard...and as hard as my love is its even harder to try to unlove someone who i gave my heart to i invested and continue to invest my time and my energy and all of my love every ounce of me and i'm still not enough i never am and i never will be...i try and i try and i try but nothing makes anything easier...at this point i wanna say f*** everyone but I'm not like that but i wanna be so bad....i wanna have confidence in myself in my body in my relationships meaning i wanna be secure and i wanna feel safe and i wanna be able to know that if i let you in you wont leave like everyone else....i wanna be able to have all those things...but ig it wasn't in the cards for me. I just wanna breathe again....

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