storm on a summer day

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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xn728
Posts: 2129
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2009 3:34 pm
Location: united kingdom yorkshire

storm on a summer day

Postby xn728 » Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:49 pm

it was a sunny day in the uk ,it was around 18 degrees above ,the warmest day of the year ,i feel very deppressed ,the visitor has taken me down and i must lay here till the storm passes ,if i try and fight it ,the visitor will show me things i dont wish to see ,it will make me watch myself burn all those years ago over and over ,i have not felt this badly for at least two years ,maybe it is showing me that i will pay for the compasion i show in my stories on here.maybe it feels vunerable because i can share my fears and experiances here and it feels weak and threatened,i hear things and see things distorted creatures sent to convince me i have gone mad ,but it also knows i have been here many times ,and even though i have been taken by surprise .i will draw on the good memories inside me ,and will lay quiet and withdrawn ,i wont show any outwood siqns of fear . i have loved ones around me and they must not see the visitor manifest itself ,and make the husband and father break apart in front of there eyes ,then there lives to would be broken .and it would have spread its evil to my family forever ,so i sat in the sun and wore the smile ,soaked up the warmth of that life giving ball of fire that i fear so much ,and why, because when the sun is warm its summer and the days are getting longer .such long days to carry so much pain ,the darkness when it comes is my friend .a place were for a few hours before the next painful day dawns i can rest just for a short while .the visitor rests beside me also ,maybe its mutual and it to needs rest ,so it has the strentgh to carry me to the strange and fearful places it chooses for me tommorrow but i have been here before and i will emerge and i,ll wear the cloak of happiness even though the weight of it is hard to carry ,so i will leave here now ,and when i return i will have had another lesson ,and i will use it to survive once again . it wears you down and makes you tired ,the real pains in the chest ,the headaces, wanting to cry so hard and scream out just to be able to reliese some pain .i,ll never give in i love my family .but i know what its like to be at that place, to step into the unknown and be free of it for ever ,But we dont know that do we .what if we took that step to the other side ,and the devil of all depression was waiting for us ,lets not go there then .i will come out from were i am now ,i know that so im not afraid ,im just putting up the shutters xn728

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