Seeking help for my friend

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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thatbenjie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2020 7:48 am

Seeking help for my friend

Postby thatbenjie » Mon Jan 25, 2021 3:00 am

Hi, this is ben.

I've had this friend I met since first year of high school and we've been friends for two years. She was a very talented artist, we met in the painting club and we would trade our art every now and then. Even though we aren't classmates, she would go to my house to hangout after school if we have some homeworks to do. When I first met her, she was a very quiet and shy person, she didn't talk about herself very much. Then she started opening up to me and telling me about her past relationships. With her family, and also ex boyfriend. Her parents got divorced when she was still on elementary school, and she kept blaming herself for that. Her ex boyfriend did some sexual harrassment to her back in the days, which led to her getting some trauma whenever she remember about him. She also did some self harm for quite a while and I felt so heartbroken hearing that. I wish I were there for her when she needed it the most. I felt so horrible thinking about the things she has went through up until now. I told her I loved her and that I'll always be here if I need her. And she told me that she'd do the same for me.

We're now both seniors at high school, we're graduating soon and everyone is focused in national exam. Somewhere in between November and December last year, she went missing for around fifteen days. She didn't fill her online classes attendance, or submit any of her homeworks. Her classmates reach out to me asking about her presence but I don't know what was happening too. I also can't reach out the her through any of her social media, and even calling her didn't make any progress. So I went around and go looking for someone that could help her, in this case, her older brother. I go around looking for her older brother number and finally got hold of it. She messaged me through her brother's number, saying she'll explain everything to me tonight. So that night, after around fifteen days of not talking to her, well, I speak to her. She told me that everything is very overwhelming these days. She can't seem to force herself to do simple task like waking up or fill her class attendance. She didn't see any point of doing so, telling me that no one will even care if she didn't go to school or even alive in this world. She told me she has had multiple suicidal tendencies when she was gone, and I'm glad none of it happened. I asked her if she has talk about this to her parents or seek for help, and she said she'll be having her first therapy session at the beginning of January. And I'm glad to hear that, I told her that I love her and that I will be very sad if she wasn't here with me. I also told her to take a break if things got very overwhelming for her, and that I will always be here if she need me.

After her first therapy session, she told me she started going to class again regularly, and I talk to her sometimes now and then. But today, one of her classmates texted me telling me she hasn't been going to her classes again, and asking me if I can reach out to her about that. So I texted her asking what's wrong, and also telling her that if things got too overwhelming again, she should just take an absence from school for a while, and go back when she feels better. Then she replied that, 'her presence don't matter' 'why would they care about one of the hundreds students they teach?' that 'she feels like a failure, that she's not even smart enough and that she can't give them anything'. And at that point I know that she's not getting better at all. I told her a few encouraging messages, and telling her how much I cared for her and that I'll always be here for her. I told her that multiple times, enough so she can at least remember that.

But honestly, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of losing a friend of mine. But I just don't know what to do beside telling her I love her and that I'll always be there for her. I really wish I could do more for her.

jessica james
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 2:46 pm

Re: Seeking help for my friend

Postby jessica james » Mon Jan 25, 2021 5:01 pm

It is very tough to get out of a situation once you're in it. You know that girl for a long time and you have to be there for her no matter what. It can be frustrating to push a person who doesn't want to change but still the loyalty means be there whatever what. It's better to visit her often and try to drag her out of this situation. Tell her and convince her life is very beautiful and this temporary phase shall be over soon. In this situation, it is very necessary to keep a check on her in these tough times. Take her outside from this environment. She really needs to relocate and get out of this phase.

CamGirl
Posts: 104
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Seeking help for my friend

Postby CamGirl » Tue Jan 26, 2021 4:19 pm

Being there for her is more than enough. It's important that she won't feel alone and that she is loved and needed. That would make her fight to be better.

Fredyla003
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:17 am

Re: Seeking help for my friend

Postby Fredyla003 » Sat Mar 13, 2021 3:23 am

jessica james wrote:It is very tough to get out of a situation once you're in it. You know that girl for a long time and you have to be there for her no matter what. It can be frustrating to push a person who doesn't want to change but still the loyalty means be there whatever what. It's better to visit her often and try to drag her out of this situation. Tell her and convince her life is very beautiful and this temporary phase shall be over soon. In this situation, it is very necessary to keep a check on her in these tough times. Take her outside from this environment. She really needs to relocate and get out of this phase.

I know my story isn't as interesting or as emotional as others on here


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