How do i recover

[Random5858]

I'm a student at the moment and my parents have been separated for 3 years now, at the moment i live with my older brother and dad. The reason why I'm not seeing my mum any more is that when I had to stay over at her apartment she would take money from me and leave me by myself over the night and not come back until the next morning, she did that a several times and told me not to tell anyone about it until I slipped it out to a family member and well now I don't see her anymore. The school I went to was pretty strict with homework and I didn't have friends, at the beginning of starting a new school the girls would pick apart everyone I said or did and this lowered my self esteem quite a lot so I basically became mute because i was scared to say anything. By this point i knew i wasn't enjoying school so i asked my dad if I could leave the school and he said no and how i should try it out some more and how it was a good school etc. Over time it became more difficult for more to go to school and a lot of the days I would skip and the days I would go in, I would only go in because I felt guilty because my dad would start screaming and shouting at me and say how I was making everyone disappointed and how i was making his life difficult. While this was happening I still had to see my mum and that was mores stressful because she also used to feed me less than normal because she used to say how I needed to lose weight. A lot of the time at school I was behind because I missed out and this put pressure on me. This only got worst in the second year, when I would cry or have a panic attack from everything that was going on my dad used to laugh at me and my brother joined in, and my mum was out a lot of the time partying and by the end of the year my dad said he would apply me to an another school but I didn't get in due my attendance, so for all of summer I felt really depressed and would cry at the smallest things, my dad hated this and would normally tell me to shut up, or call me names like psychotic or crazy b@tch etc. Eventually some of my other family members took notice how I thinned out and how I didn't go out and intervened, so by the end of the summer if I didn't want to i didn't have to see my mother and i started to go to family therapy, but since I live in England this process is longer and the therapy didn't do anything apart from airing the problems out. After September things with my dad started to get worst and he started to ask money from me and my brother, he started with my brother at first and then me, he would usually use it to pay the gas bills or for food, and if we didn't give him money we wouldn't have any hot air or water for a day or two until he got money or me and my brother caved in and gave him some. We eventually told our godmother about this and she talked to him about not doing it anymore. I just joined a new school recently and I'm really anxious and nervous when i wake up to go school and when I'm about go to school, the past couples of days I have been pretty late. I think I still might be a still messed up from my old school. Does anyone know how to get up leave the house and how to feel better about leaving the house because I just feel anxious and scared in the mornings, on top of that how do you make social interactions with people in the classroom because i can't seem to speak to anyone without messing up my words?

[mousemeowkin]

It sounds like you've been struggling with a lot. I'm sorry you've had to endure so much.

Would it be possible for you to see a doctor on the NHS who could refer you to a specialist who could prescribe medication for you? I'm no doctor and I'm certainly not saying that the medication will make everything better.

I have felt like you before when it was a struggle to get out of bed and I felt that my emotions were so sensitive that anything at all no matter how little could set it off.

For me at least, what worked was medication. It helped dull my sensitivity and gave me enough energy so each day became manageable. There are unwanted effects initially as your body adjusts to the medication depending on the medication and how your body reacts to it. For me, the symptoms were mild but I believe everyone reacts differently.

I hope you find the help you need. Good luck.