Broken promises, in a sense

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Lil Welby
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:33 pm

Broken promises, in a sense

Postby Lil Welby » Mon Oct 28, 2019 12:43 pm

How quickly the things we set out to do can be undone, or is it being "undone" just a matter of perspective? My promise I made to myself to participate on the forum daily has been broken, but why did I make that promise to myself in the first place? I did it to hold myself accountable to the fact that I need to do something of positive impact on a daily basis, that each and every day I need to perform some sort of action to move myself into a "better" place.

Over the weekend I went with my wife and daughter to an event at a local library one day, and to an aquarium the other day. Both instances had their fair share of stresses and anxieties, but they were both perfect examples of actions that needed to be taken.

I feel like every day I come a little closer to clarity, personally, I'm not entirely thrilled with the picture coming in to view to be honest. There will be more hurdles to cross, and I fear the struggle will intensify before it gets better. That's just the nature of the beast though. The only person who I can hold accountable for my actions is ultimately myself.

Spleefy
Posts: 240
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Broken promises, in a sense

Postby Spleefy » Mon Oct 28, 2019 8:02 pm

Hi Welby,

Try not to be hard on yourself. The promise you made is essentially about taking accountability for yourself and to do something positive each day.

There will be times when something comes up and we can’t do what we set out to do.

I don’t see what happened as a “broken promise”. You are still keeping that promise to yourself to keep trying, to keep working on your own healing. Everyone makes progress in their own time and at their own pace. There will be obstacles along the way, and we may even slide a few steps back.

What’s most important is that we don’t allow this deter us from trying and to continue taking steps forward. And you haven't. You are still moving forward, even if it may not feel like it.

Perhaps if something comes up, or you are not up to participating on the forums for a day, you can replace it with another positive action. In this way, you are still doing something positive.

I think keeping our interest high in doing something positive is more important than forcing ourselves to stick to a particular thing, only to become deterred when we don't fulfill it. This goes with the idea of quantity vs quality, as action is better than inaction.

You also had an outing with your wife and daughter. I’m sure this meant the world to them! So a positive thing like that is worth 50 times more than smaller positive steps, such as participating on the forum. The forum will always be here.

And you made another post recently, so it’s not like you have stopped participating altogether. Also, if you do skip a day, you can make up for it by doubling your participation and making a couple of posts the next time.

Just keep doing your best to participate each day, but don't be deterred if it doesn't happen from time to time. Also, there may come a time when you need to reevaluate your situation and make some adjustments. I think it is more important to be dynamic, flexible, and adaptable in situations rather than rigid. It's like a tree in the wind that sways to and fro. If it didn't, the branch would snap off.

You are doing very well, Welby. Don’t see what happened deter you from continuing to make progress. Look at all the progress you ARE making rather than the setbacks that will inevitably occur along the way.

Lil Welby
Posts: 19
Joined: Fri Oct 18, 2019 12:33 pm

Re: Broken promises, in a sense

Postby Lil Welby » Tue Oct 29, 2019 12:59 pm

Thank you as always Spleefy, I look forward to your responses, they are always concise and full of wisdom.


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