My story...

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Joined: Mon Jul 08, 2019 12:19 pm
Location: Latvia

My story...

Postby Nirutu » Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:00 pm


I don't even know where to start... The suffocating feeling, it doesn't end, it's just there, all the time...
I don't even remember when it began, it's with me for years, actually by now... already part of me.

For some time you ignore it, try to convince yourself that it's just such period, you will grow out of it or it's just a stress, but the truth is, it doesn't, it only grows and grows and grows, till you find yourself in some dark corner from who you can't find the way out, but others way in to save you.

I don't feel lonely, I feel alone. Like a puppet, I do what I have to, pay my bills, be a good friend, good daughter,because that's just how it is, right? Feels like everything is running around you but you just stay still watching, numb inside. You don't really care about anything, just do your duty, so you could call yourself a good human being, could fit in the scenery.

I have looked for help, but I don't know, they doesn't earn my trust so I keep them just where I want them, tell things they want to hear, listen opinions that I know they will have and it all equals with nothing. I know it's my fault, I am completely aware of it, but I can't step over that barrier.

So I sit in my dark corner, alone... In silence, tired of breathing, tired of acting, tired of people's voices, tired of all...

I honestly don't even know why I am writing all this, I don't know what I am even looking for, but... I did so...

P. S. Sorry for bad english.

Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2019 5:25 pm

Re: My story...

Postby jess-scott » Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:28 pm

Nirutu, Wow, that was well put (and your english is just fine).

Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2019 7:20 pm

Re: My story...

Postby ana123 » Tue Jul 23, 2019 8:06 pm

I am so sorry your experiencing these struggles. I want you to know that you are not alone and that your life is so valuable.

I am glad to hear that you've reached out for help before. That takes real courage!

Do you have anyone you trust who you can talk to about this? I have struggled with many of the same feelings and numbness you have, and I have found that talking with others is so helpful.

Praying for you, friend.

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