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Posted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:18 pm
I have been depressed for three years now and I can't tell anyone. I am government property and if I speak up I risk everything I've worked for. It's ironic though, because it's the government that has caused this. I have new fears and anxieties, ptsd, and bulimia since I signed my contract. I have no one to turn to without the fear of this getting out to my superiors and being kicked out liked chewed up gum. I'm even afraid of posting on here, but I knew I needed to do something after throwing up my lunch just so I could feel in control of my life. I'm married and haven't been interested sexually in my partner for months now because of the constant emotional pain or lack of emotion altogether. When we do, there is no enjoyment and I just act the part to get it over with as fast as possible. I don't enjoy the things I once did, all I want to do is sleep or lay in bed and distract myself with tv. I have nightmares that stick with me the rest of the day. I just can't get out of my head and can't change my life for the better. Please, help me.
Re: I'm Trapped
Posted: Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:15 pm
This is a feeling I can relate to. I went to Germany few years ago to study. My parents paid a lot for it but I was failing every class. I wanted to move back to my country but I was feeling guilty. I thought I owe it to my family. In the end I became depressed and alcoholic. One day I made a decision to go back and tell my family everything. There were some paperwork that I needed to stay in Germany, to extend my stay in the country. I burnt them all. I burnt everything that could help me stay there so that I wouldn't change my mind. Eventually, I came back to my country and started my depression treatment. I think it was the best decision I've made. What I suggest is, accept your condition (depression) and get help. Without talking to someone, you can't find a solution.
All the best
Re: I'm Trapped
Posted: Thu Aug 22, 2019 10:50 am
Hi Dr. Strange-ish,
Sorry you are feeling helpless and going through a lot of stress. I’m not sure what to say or do to help, but please know that we are all here for you. If you ever need to talk, we will always be here to listen to you, to feel sad with you, and even cry with you if that is what is needed.
I looked up a scripture for you, hoping it will bring some comfort.
What I love about this scripture is that King David's plea to Jehovah God reminds me of my own plea to God, when I cried out to him for help with a sincere heart. "Hear my pleas when I cry to you for help as I lift my hands toward the innermost room of your sanctuary."--Psalm 28:2. God responded, and David added: "I have received his help, and my heart rejoices."--Psalm 28:7.
It was exactly how I felt when I cried out to Jehovah one night when I was in a dark place and feeling helpless. Jehovah God responded to me, which was the most amazing experience I've ever had. I will never forget that night and the days following.
Please take care. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.