Depression Understood Forums

Why? Why would I do something and put effort in it even if I fail? Even if I come back home and feel empty? Even when I find myself looking for someone, the one, the one who would hold me in her arms, tell me its okay, courage me to continue searching for my purpose.
When I look at myself in the mirror I think that I am god, that I can do anything if I wanted to, especially in the morning. But the next morning I look at yesterday and think to myself: “ hes so stupid”
Who is “me” actually? Am I the one who’s writing? Am I the me who hangouts with friends? Or am I the me who has the motivation to do anything but a moment after he wants to soak in his bed and try to find his place in life, like a square puzzle, but the problem is that he is actually a circle
I’m probably going to laugh at this text I’m writing tomorrow , I don’t know why am I writing this either.
My mind often questions others, maybe I’m missing something others have? I often look at successful people and think “ why cant I?” “why cant I succeed?”
I look at other people that play games and have fun but when I play the game I seem to lose interest in no more than one day.
Why isn’t there anyone that approaches me and asks me if I’m okay?
Who am I ? I cant seem to find my personality, I find myself trying to look for my personality and change it every day, yet I cant seem to get comfortable. Who are my friends? Who loves me and who doesn’t?
Is the disease not over yet? Is it hiding in my brain without me knowing? My psychologist told me it was over 6 months ago…
Theres no meaning to this text but i just had the urge to post it, I spilled my mind & thoughts out

Thank you for writing that. You put into words what I have so often felt but couldn't quite articulate. Of course, some of the particulars are different but your post leaves me feeling that someone understands

hi i am kalaysha king this is my first time doing this i have been diagnosed with major severe depression and my family won't help me so i figured maybe if i reached out to people who have the same struggle as me maybe it will be easier i'm 14 years old but i have been through things i shouldn't have and i'm not ready to talk about that yet but maybe with time this will become my home because a house is made out of bricks and stones but homes are made out of love alone