Depression Understood Forums

im 17 years old in my grad year of high school.. I am heavily depressed over this girl im in love with dearly. When we first met i instantly fell for her... we hit it off right off the bat and everything went well for awhile until i found out she cheated on me with one of my best friends.. a couple of months passed and we continued to talk and i knew i wanted to be with her so we got back together. We were happily dating for around seven months until i started to feel depressed and started to blame things on her... Everything would stress me out.. work, school and me and her would have arguements every day til the point that i broke up with her... We were on and off for quite awhile and when she thought she might of been pregnant i did some thinking, if she was i was going to get some responsibility and if she wasnt i was going to be a normal teenager and just party... For a little bit we didnt talk that much.. i felt like it was best to just move on but of course i still loved her to death. around a week ago it really hit me hard and alot of thoughts rushed through my head.. and i realized what i should have always.. i want to be with her forever. I told her everything and she said she just wanted to be friends and needed time... i apologized for how poorly i treated her and i swore to her that it would never happen again.. and i know it never will if i ever get another chance.. Iv completely dropped into a huge drinking problem and i smoke atleast a half pack a day... I feel like she is the only person that can complete my life. I love her to death and its killing me not being able to be with her.. i skip work and gave up on my school work.. it just doesnt matter to me anymore... I know that if i can make things right with her ill be happy again and all the other pieces will fall into place.

Could anyone help me out? My family keeps telling me to just "move on" but i know i couldnt live without her...

hi mills * hugs *,

i can understand the frustration of having someone cheat on you. i've been cheated on myself. and usually after that i lose a large amount of trust in that person that cannot be regained.

you did say that you apoligised and wanted to be together again, and with that, i think you've done everything you can. i think the main thing is to think about yourself first. if you are drinking and smoking and have chronic depression, then that might be a barrier to her wanting to get back with you. i bet she would rather see the confident and happy you.

i know the pain of wanting someone back. it can hurt so much. it is her choice what she wants to do, and i know its hard to do, but i think a good thing to do is to respect her choice. the important thing to do is take care of yourself, get back in school, and love will come back in your life.

so the first thing to do is to start loving YOU!