I've read your previous posts so I know a little about you now and the background to this post. As I said before I'm not a therapist just an average bloke who has suffered from depression. However, I'll take the time to tell you what I think and the questions I'd ask you (and the ones I think you should ask yourself) if we were talking face to face.
Why? Why do you want to chase your mother round a car? Are you trying to punish her for something? Do you see the man who did chase your mother (over 35 years ago) as some kind of role model? Do you consider his behaviour as that of a decent, rational human being?
It's obvious that what you're thinking of doing isn't in any way reasonable and you clearly recognise this or you wouldn't be posting here.
I hope you will take my earlier advice and go to speak to a therapist or at least your doctor who will guide you.
Best of luck
Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.
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