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How i feel
Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 2:51 pm
This is the first time I’m reaching out about how I’m feeling inside. How alone i feel. Just how sad i am. I got married 04/2017 and it was amazing.. soon after, my husband got a job offer he just couldn’t turn down and we had to move about two hours away from home. (I know, only two hours, it could be worse, people tell me all the time). But i HATE it here. Just the way people live here, the people I’ve tried to communicate with to TRY to make friends are always so rude, and there is absolutely nothing to do here. I had to transfer jobs (with the same company, different location) and i ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. My boss hates me. I hate her. She is arrogant. She is awful. I personally hate THE JOB i do, as well. It includes, nights, weekends, and holidays and all i want is a “normal person” job. I want that “cookie cutter life”. I honestly feel like my job is killing me, slowly. I have a 50 min commute, i hate my coworkers and my boss, and i hate the job i do. It’s awful and i know that is coming home with me. I am so ill all the time and i don’t even mean to be. I’m so mean to my husband and he’s so loving and sweet and i honestly don’t even know why i am. I get so irritated so easily. It’s like I’m really evil. Living here and working the job i do is absolutely KILLING me. I’ve talked to me husband about it. He understands. He does not like it where we live now either and he has agreed to apply to jobs back home. Different jobs. And that makes me so happy and i know it’s a process but he hasn’t heard back from ANY of them and it’s really making me sad. I could apply to jobs but because he makes so much more than me, i feel like that would be dumb to just move on my income and wait for him to get a job, ya know? I cry hours before i have to go to work, i don’t have energy to do anything anymore. I used to be outside all the time. We’d play tennis, try baseball, run, do all kinds of fun stuff. Now we find outselvds watching Netflix all the time when we’re not at work. My depression is causing us to fight so much and i hate it. I lash out for no reason then feel bad about it. I feel like if we were back home with different jobs, we’d be so happy. Also, where we moved to, is SO EXPENSIVE. so when he took that huge raise and when i got a decent raise, technically, we are poorer now than we were back home because everything costs so much here. I just feel like i can’t catch a break and i don’t know what to do. Sorry for being all over the place but that definitely describes my life right now. I’m just so lost.
Re: How i feel
Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 3:18 pm
There is no right of wrong for feeling the way you do! You are entitled to your feelings. Being angry is one of the many symptoms of depression. You want to feel happy and content but sometimes there are just situations and circumstances that creep up on us that make us deny ourselves that right! Mine I believe was my divorce after 20 years:( We lash out at the people we love not to hurt them but because we truly don’t know what’s going on with our own bodies! I have felt the same way many times. Crying spells, sleepless nights, lose of interest in all my hobbies. I too am new to this forum but I really wanted to talk to others who were battling with depression. Some of my friends know what is going on but no idea how to help me. I don’t realky have family except my 2 daughters, which are 21 and 23. We were always very close but I’ve pulled away because I don’t want them to see me so sad! It breaks my heart everyday, they are my world. My bf suffers from alcoholism and is trying to get his life back on tract. Thus too has caused many bad times in my life! I get very upset with him and feel bad too! Situations and events I believe definitely play a part in depression. Have you thought about talking to a doctor maybe trying some medications in the interim? I’ve been on different ones and they did help for awhile but I’m not really not one on taking pills. Although I might have to try it again! I literally take my day minute by minute right now and it’s really draining! Sharing your story and reaching out is a very big first step! Feel proud you made the effort! I hope you and your husband the very best!
Re: How i feel
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:28 am
Hi- welcome to the forum! I'm so sorry that you are going through this feelings.
Change is good but moving to a new place and new environment is sometimes never easy to adapt. I was 6 months pregnant when my husband and I decided to move away from my family because of his job, it was also hard for both of us, we are 10,000 miles away from them. Because of higher offer, we have to move to different states. It was never easy but thankfully, we were able to adjust and met new friends that became family.
I hope you will be able to meet new friends, friends that can be your family. Keep in touch with your old friends too.
According to an article, relocation depression is a strong psychological reaction to the loss of the old life where the familiarity brought comfort, which in turn brought peace of mind. If you think you need help regarding this, please consult with your doctor. I hope things will work out for you and your husband. I will be praying for you, please update us. Thank you for sharing,
Re: How i feel
Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:27 pm
Hello and welcome!
First of all thank you for being brave enough to come here and share how you really feel about your life. I hope that just doing that may have helped you in some way.
You've been through a lot of changes recently: marriage, a new job and a new location all of which can be stressful in themselves a fact your new boss should recognise. If she had any managerial ability at all she'd be going out of her way to support you as a professional obligation/requirement (a happy worker is a productive worker) let alone as a fellow human being.
On the plus side I'm sure you realise how fortunate you are to have a husband who listens to you and understands what you say. Not only that he's also willing to act on it and try to move back your home town. You're married to a good man I feel.
I have a few thoughts but please be patient with me if what I suggest isn't helpful or appropriate. You see while I can sympathise with depression, having had some very dark times myself, I'm male and from the UK so I don't really 'get' what it's like being you.
Anyway, here goes ...
Your situation is temporary (you've both decided to move) and every day, every minute even is a day/minute nearer the day you say good bye to a horrible job and unfriendly neighbourhood. So if the job is rubbish or your boss is ranting on just think, 'I can rise above all this. I'm not here forever and however long it takes I know for sure that by the end of today I'm one day closer to moving on.'
A second idea is for you and your husband to find a common interest that's relaxing. Oh, I don't know, doing a crossword together or playing cards. If your mind is occupied on something else then, at least for a while, you're away from your current situation.
I wish you well, you and your husband.
Re: How i feel
Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2018 11:39 am
I know how you feel, i moved across the world with no family and friends. i missed home so much that i found fault in everything... i didn't like the people, the weather, the schools etc. when i realized that i had the wrong outlook, i changed my mindset, i prayed and asked God for friends and to help me through my difficult change, i joined an awesome church.. and God gave me a fresh set of eyes, i started loving the people, the weather and i started experiencing supernatural joy, He has given me friends and im so grateful that we get to experience a new season in our lives. its amazing how it helps when just changing your mindset and having an attitude of gratitude despite the circumstances.
im praying for you, good luck!