The evil twins
Posted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:49 am
"Which would you say is affecting you most right now- the anxiety or the depression?"
This is the question every medical professional (GP, therapist, psychiatrist, homeopath, neurologist...) asks me when I tell them my main complaints are the gruesome twosome. Oh how can I choose? I am depressed because I am anxious every minute of the day. I am anxious at the thought of carrying on my life this way forever, leaving me with a profound feeling of hopelessness. I'm depressed that I can't seem to kick the anxiety, or get through a day without it being in the captain's seat. I'm anxious that I'll have a panic attack during work and make a fool of myself, and it's depressing to know that that fear or reality isn't going away in the foreseeable future. I'm depressed when I think about how significantly my mental health issues have hampered my life and will likely continue to do so, and I am anxious at the possibility of things only getting worse.
So, how can I choose? They are two malignant tumors I carry around, attached to me at all times. They are my two left feet, trying to trip me up. They are my two bratty kids, constantly pulling at my pant leg and demanding my attention... Yes yes, I hear you, I see you, I know you're there.
This is the question every medical professional (GP, therapist, psychiatrist, homeopath, neurologist...) asks me when I tell them my main complaints are the gruesome twosome. Oh how can I choose? I am depressed because I am anxious every minute of the day. I am anxious at the thought of carrying on my life this way forever, leaving me with a profound feeling of hopelessness. I'm depressed that I can't seem to kick the anxiety, or get through a day without it being in the captain's seat. I'm anxious that I'll have a panic attack during work and make a fool of myself, and it's depressing to know that that fear or reality isn't going away in the foreseeable future. I'm depressed when I think about how significantly my mental health issues have hampered my life and will likely continue to do so, and I am anxious at the possibility of things only getting worse.
So, how can I choose? They are two malignant tumors I carry around, attached to me at all times. They are my two left feet, trying to trip me up. They are my two bratty kids, constantly pulling at my pant leg and demanding my attention... Yes yes, I hear you, I see you, I know you're there.